Getting to know...

EDWIN F. EVANGELISTA aka EDWEEEEEEN
Vitals: We met when I was a sophomore in high school. Matt and I used to live in the same apartment complex and one day he came home with Edwin = 10 years and counting
Role in my Life: Constant Cause of Anguish and Frustration…ha ha ha…just kidding Edwin! For me, Edween is the Undercover Wise One - Seriously, as well as this guy plays the jackass, and the fact that he is proudest of himself when he’s being mean to people, hitting below the belt every chance he can get, he’s got some of the most insightful things to say when you need it.
Good Times: It’s easiest for me to tell this story via dialogue. Some of you may have heard this already but I know you won’t mind recalling it. Picture me and Edwin in my car:
Me: Hey Edwin, guess what I bought!
Edwin: What?
Me: The extended version of LORD OF THE RINGS!! (Fellowship of the Ring)
Edwin: Oh dope, how much did you get it for?
Me: $29.99…not too bad. I thought it was gonna cost more.
Edwin: You didn’t get the $60 one?
Me: No, why there’s a version that’s $60 bucks? Is it even longer?
Edwin: No, but it comes with bookmarks.
Me: Oh…(puzzled look on my face). They’re freakin’ charging $30 more for bookmarks?
Edwin: Yeah…
Me: Okay, that’s dumb…(5 minutes of silence pass cuz I’m still wondering why you’d pay $60 just for bookmarks). Are they gold-plated?
Edwin: What?
Me: The bookmarks?
Edwin: No. They’re just bookmarks. They look like stone.
Me: Oh okay…(Stone? still puzzled. 5 more minutes pass)…Why the hell would you pay $30 extra for bookmarks? Must be like a set of collectible ones huh?
Edwin: Naw, they’re just bookmarks. There’s two of them. Remember that part when they’re on the boat going down the river and they see the huge statues of the former kings and they’re like this to each other? (Edwin makes a gesture with his hand as if to say “Stop in the name of love.”) They hold up the books on each side.
Me: THOSE ARE BOOKENDS DUDE!
Edwin: Oh…we never had this conversation…
In his own words: “Yeah, I bet you guys can’t even wear BELLYbottoms.” – It’s BELLbottoms dummy!