Tonight I'm in the city where fortune either rains on your shoulders or shits in your face. Thankfully today, I've felt the drizzle. I'm in hot Las Vegas, NV for another one of our lovely family reunions. The next one always seems to come so quickly after the one before, but it never keeps me from looking forward to it. I love spending time with my family, especially with those who live too far for me to see whenever I please; so I've been anticipating this weekend to arrive for months!
I got to work on time this morning (7:30 am) and I seriously worked my face off trying to finish what I set out to finish before my short "vacation," if you could call 4 days in Vegas that. I got home in record time for a Thursday (because I left at 1:00 pm), got some lunch, and then headed to Burbank - excuse me - BOB HOPE Airport with my parents and my sister. Surprise, surprise, our flight was delayed 2 hours. It wasn't that bad of a wait actually, especially since right before we boarded our JetBlue flight, I saw DEREK FREAKIN' FISHER 20 feet away!! My dad had said something earlier when he passed by, but I only saw the back of his head and figured my dad was just kidding because he does so often.
If you don't already know, I don't like bothering celebrities, even the ones who I know probably wouldn't mind, like D-Fish. Along with his wife, Candace, he looked like a really nice guy. And OH MY GOSH WE WERE ON THE SAME FLIGHT! He sat about 3 rows behind me (by the emergency exit; probably for the legroom). My parents were urging me to go up to him before we boarded, even to say hello or shake his hand, but I wanted to leave him alone. The man's trying to get away dude!
So we got off the plane and Tin and I were waiting for my parents outside the restrooms. D-Fish and Candace pass by and 2 minutes later my dad comes out..."Derek Fisher was in the stall next to me!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! We were cracking up! My dad peed next to Derek Fisher! I'm losing it right now just remembering it. We walked to the escalators and Derek was about a foot away from us so my dad, not wanting to let this moment slip by, looked up and said, "Hi Mr. Fisher!" (Oh dad, you're so polite.) "Hey, how you doing?!" D-Fish replied. I ALMOST FELL OFF THE ESCALATOR! HAHAHAHA!! We lost him after baggage claim.
Wow! I'm still in shock. Anyhow, we got the rental car, checked into our hotel, said hello to some relatives, and then Dad, Tin and I went back to the airport to fetch my cousins, Ben and Alan. We took them to their hotel so they could check in, then we left to pick up my mom because all of us were FAMISHED! So where else is there to go at 1:30 am when you're hungry than...you guessed it folks - I took my parents and sister to Pyramid Cafe. haha! I swear, we should have a punch card to that place. Ben and Alan joined us for our super late dinner then we hit the casinos with Aimee and her boyfriend, Darrin.
I haven't gambled in 4 years but Ben somehow got me to sit down with him at Rapid Roulette (it's digital roulette!) and I WON $84!!! I know that doesn't seem like a lot to you big ballers, but that's a whole lot for me to be up! I started with $20 and cashed out $104!! I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE 12 HOURS!
Okee, I better get to bed. Yes, it IS indeed 4:15 am right now. Tin and I thought we'd explore the hotel and found the business center. Free internet! Heck, why not blog about our wonderful day, right? Hope I have more stories soon!!
alter ego [awl-ter ee-goh] Another side of oneself; a second self Synonyms include: id, shadow
Lately it's been a little hellish in places and moments that seem to get progressively worse each time you open an email, log onto a website, write a check, or answer the phone. We do our best though, don’t we, to stay afloat; keeping ourselves from sinking (or overrun) the best way we know how? What more, really, could we ask for ourselves when we use every bit of strength we have to get it together and then try our darndest to keep it that way? There are times though, when I want to do anything BUT maintain composure. Truth be told, sometimes I’d like to lose it.
I watched The Incredible Hulk about a month ago and couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like to have an alter ego. Edward Norton was perfectly cast for this part; to have his unassuming and subdued demeanor turn into a beast (though a beast with a conscience when given the chance to recognize it so) was...well...kind of inspiring. What would you do if there was another part of yourself that you couldn't control?
Sigmund Freud had a theory about the three part of the psyche: id, ego and superego. “[The id] is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality…and most of this is of a negative character and can be described only as a contrast to the ego. We approach the id with analogies: we call it a chaos, a cauldron full of seething excitations ... It is filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but it has no organization, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle.” - Freud, New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis (1933)
Screw the ego. I’d like to explore my id. When I am taken advantage of, I want to refuse with a fiery anger and punch someone in the face. When I am deceived, I want to be vengeful. When I am being talked down to, I want to arise in scorn and fury. Sometimes, I don’t want to just walk away, be the better (wo)man and do what Jesus did. Sometimes I want to raise some hell.
I love that term, "lollygagging." It's just such a fun word to speak, plus it sounds exactly like what it is...wasting time. It's not the most ideal state of mind and body to aspire to, but I find myself lollygagging more often than I'd like to admit. Sometimes it IS because I'm tired (that's called "rest), but other times, I'm just lazy and the thought of doing anything remotely resembling work just turns my psyche (not to mention my body) into lead!
I went to a writing seminar at UCLA this weekend. "What Kind of Writer Am I?" was the title of the course that walked 40 aspiring writers through the main arenas of written art: poetry, fiction, non-fiction, playwriting and screenwriting. Each one is a unique discpline, calling for various types of practices and skill; but one requirement remains constant if you want to succeed in any of it - COMMITMENT.
This (or lack of this) has been my downfall. I have dreams of becoming a published writer - a novelist, an essayist, maybe even a columnist for a widely-read publication, but I've made a phantom commitment to a dream I have yet to chase. I've busied myself with so many things, that I've simply lost track of what I used to fantasize about and how I used to plan I would make it mine.
What kind of writer am I?...A capable one...
What kind of writer do I want to be?...A committed one...