Tuesday, January 31, 2006


I hate when I start a blog entry and then are forced to stop for whatever reason, because every time I try to come back to it, the creative momentum has become sluggish, the emotion has waned, and I end up too lazy to recapture it all. I have 3 blog entries sitting in my BLOGSCRATCH.DOC file. I don’t think my recent technological debacle has helped much either.
The tech guy came by on Sunday and after replacing the motherboard, advised that it was the power source that was causing the problem. Soooo, our house is still without a window to the worldwide web and Tin and I have been forced to seek alternate sources of entertainment to accommodate our idle time; homework, tv, watching dvd’s, taking walks, reading, writing and, heaven forbid, conversation! Hahaha…I’m kidding. I just think it’s hilarious how dependent we’ve become on technology that it takes something like the power source in our computer to explode for us to realize that there are other ways to spend our time in this world.

I honestly didn’t think I was THAT reliant on the computer. I’m not on it half as much as Tin is, and I always give her grief; saying things like, “Dude, there are other places in this house you’re allowed to be in you know.” Hahaha…But last Friday night, not making plans except to wait for the tech guy who never came, I sat in my room, for the first time in a long time, BORED!

So I left the house, got in my car, started the engine and sat there for a good 5 minutes in the garage thinking, “Where the hell am I going? Bookstore? And if so, which one? Burbank? Glendale? How about the Alcove? Wonder if anyone else wants to come with me? Who should I call though? Maybe I’ll just walk around Pasadena and swing by Tiffany’s to figure out what I wanna get myself for my birthday (when I sell my first book? Hahaha), or sit at Equator Café perhaps and people watch/write? Boo I don’t wanna pay for parking…” So I just drove around…FOR 40 MINUTES! I literally finished William Joseph’s whole cd (He’s this awesome pianist, a David Foster protégé) during my drive. It was really nice though, to not have to rush off to meet someone or be somewhere by a certain time. I was riding on my own time. It doesn’t happen very often.
So anyhow, I get it, Lord. I need to get out more. Now can we PLEASE have our computer back? (Picture God rolling His eyes here) I’m just kidding!

Saturday, January 28, 2006


Have I really been filing for 3 hours?!!! Well, at least the computer here is working so I haven't been THAT bored (Thanks for IMing Dave, Cile, James, Seong, Rachey and Ate Cyn!). The tech guy that was SUPPOSED to come fix our computer last night NEVER CAME! He just left a message and didn't indicate arrival time so when I called him back, I got the dispatch chick who said I could leave a message and "hopefully get a call back some time this weekend?" What the heck. GRRRR! But they called again today and said that hopefully they can send someone tonight and if not tonight tomorrow. I don't mean to sound like a freakin' brat who's just lost without her computer, but if you make an appointment with someone, wouldn't it be nice if they, I don't know, kept it? I didn't make plans last night cuz I thought someone was coming. I ended up at Barnes & Noble for some Anna-time so it was cool. But now I have to wait for someone to come tonight? Grrrr...anyhow, that was my venting for the day.

Soooo, I'm on a mini break right now. I was getting dizzy a little while ago and I figured it's cuz I'm so hungry. I was gonna leave real fast and get something to eat. But if I leave now I know I won't come back after. Hahaha...So I recognized the address I gave and my voice and she was like, "Anna, you're working today? You're hungry? Ok what do you want and I'll get it there as soon as possible!" Hahaha...aaaw, I'm gonna miss her.

Ok, break's over. Have lots of data to punch into excel now, and got a bit of mail merge as well. Better get crackin' so I'm outta here before the sun sets.

I've got all this crap to finish up before I leave this place and since the week provides little time for me to do other things aside from my daily tasks, I'm here on a Saturday to get more done. I've been here 5 years and the week before I quit, I DO OVERTIME! HAHAHA...It's cool, cuz with no phones ringing or co-workers to joke around with, I'm free to get it all done. AIM Express is on though...IM ME! hahaha!!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Aquarians are cool!
**FYI...I misread my friend's email yesterday. She was talking about her, not me. ops! But I still mean what I said about accomplishments. Anna, read more slowly!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006


I got the invitation for my 10-year high school reunion. Actually, the bigger event is Immaculate Heart High School’s 100th year anniversary. When we graduated from there ten years ago, celebrating our 90th year, we were a proud bunch. I can’t even begin to imagine how THIS milestone is going to play out.

Anyhow, we class of ’96 IH Pandas have discussed this event numerous times. Some are apprehensive about going, thinking that they have nothing to show for (no husband, kids, or 6-figure income). It makes me wonder if that’s all reunions are about: either showing that your potential back then carried out well into your adulthood or if it’s an opportunity for revenge, to show that the timid, slacker in econ class is now the CEO of some dotcom conglomerate. I always thought that reunions would be a great place to see friends I’ve lost touch with. Showing off my Louis Vuitton clutch, 2 carat round-cut Tiffany diamond set in platinum and a family picture of my Pulitzer Prize-winning husband and genius 4-year old was truly not my plan.

I just got an email from an old friend today. She said she wasn't sure if I was planning to attend the reunion because she knows I haven’t “really accomplished anything (haven’t graduated – I assume she means grad school cuz umm, hi, UCI CLASS OF 2000! - no husband, no kids, etc).” I didn’t know whether to be offended or amused, so I just laughed.

It’s just funny what things people consider accomplishments in life. I never really thought that I “failed” to accomplish anything. I’ve learned that priorities and plans change as we change. Falling in love, having kids, getting my Master’s or Ph.D., writing a best-selling novel, living in a big house, driving a fancy car, owning expensive things – those would be great things to have in life, but I always thought those were, well, options not requirements. Living in a cute apartment by myself, furnished by IKEA rather than Pottery Barn, freelance writing for a living, riding around in my 2002 titanium Rav 4 and babysitting nephews and nieces would be as much of a privileged life than any other…well, maybe for me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


My computer's motherboard is apparently busted so I can't check email, IM or blog at home. BOOOOOOOO!!! An HP computer tech is supposed to come over this weekend so here's hoping. GRRR!!!! I'm at the MAC store at the Gal with Ate Tin-Tin. Hahahaha...If I have to come here more this week, I know I'll come out with something absurd...like an IPOD...heeheehee...


Monday, January 23, 2006

(Chris was there! LUCKY!)
WTF!!! =)

Sunday, January 22, 2006


I'm trying to write this resignation letter and for once, I don't know what to say or write. How do you tell people who you've worked for for the last 5 years that you're done with them? Do you say that it's just time to move on? See what other opportunities are out there? I feel like I'm breaking up with someone! Hahaha...

I know I've complained a lot about working where I work now; the rude customers, the inundation of orders on me, the mundaneness of it all, etc. But it's been such a safe place for me to be. I know that safe isn't always good, but for the past 5 years it's been enough. Though I'll miss my boss and co-workers, I'm thankful that I realize that this isn't enough. I want so much more...

Saturday, January 21, 2006


Thursday, January 19, 2006


Fr. Gonzalez just gave a homily about not putting our faith in anything other than God; fortune tellers, horoscopes, etc. I don't live and die by what my horoscope says, but there are those eerie coincidences when what you're reading happens to reflect real life. Today was one such example:

Horoscope for: Thursday, January 19, 2006

Hold onto your hat, Aquarius; your world is just about ready to break open at the seams. It's as if you've outgrown your protective shell, but you might want to run and hide once you are exposed. You cannot, however, go back to the way things were. The light is beginning to shine on you and you must face your fears to overcome them.

Facing fears...I haven't been great with that. But I suppose that now is as good a time as any to do it. No matter how much I resist, there's something in me that wants to get out!


It happened this morning, so suddenly. With so many outliving its competition, I scarcely could have seen the end coming. Upon learning its lifespan, some may not be surprised at its time of expiration. For me it was too soon.

So, I say good-bye to one who has gotten me through a lot of frizzy mornings, afternoons that fell flat, and lackluster nights before an evening out on the town. My Revlon 1875, I bid you farewell.

MY HAIRDRYER EXPLODED THIS MORNING! It literally threw sparks as I ran it down a length of freshly Thermasilked hair. I’ve had that thing for more than 6 years! Actually, I’m thinking I might’ve brought it to England in 1999. No matter, it’s gone and I am faced with having to find another to take its place. Who is worthy enough to be used alongside my curling and flat irons? The search begins at Target today!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


While 94 pictures upload on Shutterfly, I thought I’d talk about my wonderful weekend. It really was memorable. From the second I told Cile last Wednesday afternoon that I’d go for sure, to the moment I hugged Leia good-bye after she helped me carry my stuff to the house, I had scarcely a stressful moment between Glendale and snowy Mammoth.

This weekend I learned:
1) Long drives feel shorter when you’re provided with great music (a freakin’ random mix!) and engaging conversations (“Can you tell after having known someone only 5 minutes that you wanna sleep with them?”…”He’s not a dick…but that was a dick move!”).
2) Seeing snow ANYTIME, will always feel like the first time. And the first time is always magical. Just ask Carlo.
3) Getting to know your way around the kitchen is possible if someone is patient enough to teach you, and if you’re patient enough to learn.
4) Don’t ask James to cook 4 boxes of Spanish Rice-A-Roni at one time.
5) When it comes to drinking, pacing yourself is key. Drinking more than you can handle at one time could result in an impromptu, unplugged showcase of singing (Ate Tin-Tin) or a sudden need to lean over the toilet (Fantone).
6) Cecile-tinis are sooo good but they’re sneaky, little creepers!
7) Attempting to attend mass in the middle of snowy rain will only get you across the street and back to the cabin.
8) There’s nothing like the sound of friends playing familiar songs on the guitar.
9) Trying to finish ONE journal entry at 1:00 am with Cile, Iya and Rochelle still wide awake is a lost cause.
10) If you go sledding with Leia, she’ll make you sit in front to act as a shield to the barrage of snow that’ll attack you on the way down.
11) Don’t EVER get on Bev’s bad side.
12) When snowboarding, don’t go on anymore runs if your back is asking you to stop. Huh Ja?
13) If you leave your car outside without driving it for two days, a fort of snow will surround it and you’ll have to help push the car over the mounds.
14) I’m such the LA girl, used to sunny days and autumn weather in the winter.
15) If I had to get snowed in anywhere, anytime, my friends would provide excellent companions.

Jaja tried to convince me to go snowboarding on Sunday morning by saying, “Come on Anna, you have to! It’s CARPE DIEM SNOW!” Hahaha…trying to get me by alluding to Dead Poets’ Society. Good one, Ja! But now that I think about it, I see his point. There’s something about being around snow (especially for all of us who don’t see it often) that makes you SEIZE THE DAY: deciding last minute to drive up to the mountains to spend time with your friends, snowboarding all weekend no matter how tired you are, sinking knee-deep into powdery white ground and loving it because you know how rare that occurrence is. Maybe if it snowed more often, we’d be forced to spend less time worrying, and more time playing.

Friday, January 13, 2006


Iya forwarded this to me over a year ago, and I kept forgetting to post it. In light of all the acts of love lately, I think now is as appropriate time as any to share this. Take heed, us fearful ones...

Subject: FW: A Program Everyone should Install

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do First?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it withothers and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God

Thursday, January 12, 2006


Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Horoscope for: Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Anna,This is a terrific day for creative play, even at work. You have the ability to come up with multiple solutions to nearly any problem. Your willingness to explore all possibilities gives you extra power, but remember to lead with a light hand. Coercion will not be needed. Positive results will likely come your way with little stress on your part.

This weekend was a potpourri of emotion for me. My car was viciously keyed in the Porto's Bakery parking lot after I had just gotten it washed. As if I have so much money to get this fixed. That and I was getting pulled left and right by requests, obligations and dilemmas of all sorts that I was forced to refrain from answering my phone all weekend at an attempt for SOME peace.

But I should know better than to think that such days would last long. Through a little faith, though weak sometimes, I always find a flicker of happy hope that comforts the restless heart within; hope that comes in the form of new beginnings between young lovers on the verge of the rest of their lives; hope that comes in the ever-changing, ever-accommodating friendships of old; hope that comes in the faces of little children learning about the world around them. It's just too damn hard to be unhappy when so much opportunity for joy surrounds me. I can't help but feel obligated, moreso grateful, for the genuine glee that floats in my atmosphere. It's terribly contagious, and for this, I thank God.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Monday, January 09, 2006


(Yay Ate Cyn and Gar!)
Be silent always when you doubt your sense.
- Alexander Pope

Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.

- Robert Greenleaf

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
- Will Durant

Look out how you use proud words.When you let proud words go, it is not easy to call them back.They wear long boots, hard boots.
- Carl Sandburg

Thursday, January 05, 2006

re*solve (r -z lv ) v. tr. (From dictionary.com)
1. To make a firm decision about.
2. To cause (a person) to reach a decision.
3. To decide or express by formal vote.
4. To change or convert.
5. To find a solution to; solve.
6. To remove or dispel (doubts).


DRINK MORE WATER. Oh the smell of coffee in the morning at the office will more than tempt me to grab that "Class of 2000" mug of mine and fill it with cafe delight. But I realized last week that I drink coffee practically every single day, even on weekends. Sometimes I drink more than two cups in a 24-hour window, especially if I happen to hang out at a Barnes & Noble or a Coffee Bean with addicts like Bobbers who consume it like water. All that dairy, sugar, caffeine - not so good for the body. The OCCASIONAL cafe vanilla latte with soy, however, I'm game for!

…REALIZE THE NECESSITY FOR SPONTANAEITY. One fateful Tuesday night, our writing class was cancelled (much to our relief because both of us were particularly lazy that night) and Fernand and I had 2 ½ hours to kill before meeting up at BJ's for Riann's "I'm done with my boards suckas!" celebration. So, to satisfy our longing as wannabe RENT cast members (we were belting out all we could in the car, for crying out loud!), we decided to hit the theaters and watch it again. That was so much fun! Just deciding, out of nowhere, to watch a movie in the middle of the week, during a window of time when we should be sitting in a classroom – that’s awesome! It felt nice to do something without having gone through a huge production of planning; texting, phone trees and emails, etc. It reminds you that not all decisions need meticulous deliberation; that sometimes you DO have the ability to make a decision to do something because you just happen to feel like it. I don’t do that enough.

…EXERCISE IN DAILY RIGHT-BRAIN ACTIVITY. You want to test your creative abilities? Hone your skills with a paintbrush and an empty canvas in the form of an unfinished ceramic plate, vase or gargoyle. Spend a few hours at COLOR ME MINE! A bunch of us spent an evening there to celebrate Iya's birthday and it's truly amazing how quickly 3 hours can go by when you're trying to finish your piece. From a 2-inch turtle to a 12-inch fish (ask Joe to show you), the concentration on the faces of full-fledged adults are something I will never forget. Just picture these late-twenties people dipping their brushes into pallets of mixed up colors, unintentionally resembling Picasso paintings. Anyhow, I am bound to engage in SOME creative endeavour each day, whether it’s typing up a story outline, writing in my journal, blogging, reading – ANYTHING that lets the left, analytical side of my brain to chill for a bit. Ability and potential are not exempt from expiration. Once lost, it could take twice as long to recover.

These all seem do-able…we’ll see…

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hazy Shade Of Winter

The new year has emerged through a canopy of dark clouds and a screen of winter rain. Some may call this a bad omen, starting the year off with such harsh weather, but I can only think of everything that’s going to come after the shadows have subsided and a shade of sunshine replaces the liquid sheets of storm.

The Bangles (remember them?) performed on one of the many New Year’s Eve specials and I heard (or LISTENED to) an old song for the first time – Hazy Shade of Winter (originally by Simon & Garfunkel). It was a song on the Less Than Zero soundtrack; that movie from 1987 where Andrew McCarthy, Robert Downey, Jr. and Jamie Gertz deal with the pressures of a wealthy upbringing, especially issues with drugs. Anyhow, when I used to watch this music video, with clips of the movie playing between verses and refrains, I remember thinking how the rhythm of the song played in perfect correlation to the pace of the movie: slow, then fast, a little chaotic, dizzying…and then this sudden ending.

It’s funny how last year, I feel like I was always trying to do more than one thing at a time. I caught myself a few times and attempted to calm down, get things straight and then proceed to complete whatever it was I set out to do. But I could never just stop, out of my own free will. Something or someone had to say, “Anna, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Then and only then was I able to stop, be aware and then think about what the hell I was doing. Each time I sat to think about it all, I knew I was another day older, and everything and everyone around me was changing. I was reminded that time has no master but itself and I couldn’t do anything about it.

Such a haze of fear can easily take over. There are days when I feel like it’ll be winter all year long; like when relationships feel ice cold, self-confidence is reduced to a barren wasteland of mere potential and inspiration’s foliage has fallen from their trees. But then springtime always comes quickly behind the dawn of a new year, leaving only puddles of rain and patches of snow – remnants of what the winter brought, signs of what the spring will bring...

Hazy Shade Of Winter

Time, time, time
See what's become of me
While I looked around
For my possibilities
I was so hard to please

Look aroundLeaves are brown
And the sky
Is a hazy shade of winter
Hear the salvation army band
Down by the riverside
It's bound to be a better ride
Than what you've got planned
Carry a cup in your hand

Hang on to your hopes my friend
That's an easy thing to say
But if your hopes should pass away
Simply pretend
That you can build them again

Look around
Grass is high
Fields are ripe
It's the springtime of my life

Seasons change with the scenery
Weaving time in a tapestry
Won't you stop and remember me

Look around
Leaves are brown
And the sky
It's a hazy shade of winter

Look around
Leaves are brown
There's a patch of snow on the ground


Sunday, January 01, 2006