Tuesday, February 28, 2006
When it's raining outside, the office is quiet and there's lots of work to be done, what do I do? I listen to my nano! And what do I listen to? Music with no lyrics of course. This morning I'm treating myself to a mix of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture, and the instrumental themes to Indiana Jones, Forrest Gump, Somewhere in Time, Far & Away, Karate Kid I, II & III, Top Gun, St. Elmo's Fire and, of course, Star Wars. Maybe tomorrow I'll get into some Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Pearl Harbor.
There are just times when all you want is to trade in an opportunity to belt out some showtunes or bounce your head to some hip-hop, for the sound of a piano, a guitar or an orchestra. The mind doesn't always need words to keep you deep in reverie.
by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
So this weekend, Jaja was telling all of us how there is a term used for people who know how to play music by ear. He kept saying, "It's called 'widow.'" And all of us were like, "Widow? Like the spider? Or when your spouse dies?" We even looked it up on the internet and found nothing.
Cile asked Iya and she said that it's a tagalog term. I asked my mom if there was such a term for someone who plays by hear and, 'lo and behold, she said, "Yeah, oido." It does sound like "widow" though when she said it. For the last few days I've been thinking that it was spelled, "ouido." Then it occurred to me today, as I entered the freeway to go home that "oir" is Spanish for "to hear," hence the term "oido," playing by ear. Crazy this thing we know as language!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Clouds hovered ominously over San Diego on Sunday morning, spraying a mist of rain that soon turned into rapid drops fired down from heaven. A long day of battle lay ahead. How could we possibly fight effectively with such conditions adding to the struggle? Fortunately, the fickle weather only gave us rain for a short while, and the sunlight eventually found its way out from the hazy sky. Suddenly, we thought, the day may actually turn in our favor. And it did.
What was the battle like, you ask. It was a tough one, I have to say, resulting in injuries of all types; welts, bruises and lacerations – what’s a bonafide battle without such things? And what did I learn this weekend? That paintballing is no joke! The guy in charge at Weekend Warriors was adamant about the rules of the engagement upon hitting the field. His little 15 minute speech before we put on our masks (which are to be worn on the field AT ALL TIMES WITH NO EXCEPTIONS!) made all of us a little sick in the stomach. Getting shot in the eye (or ANYWHERE on the body) didn’t sound like something anyone wanted to experience, but there we were, geared up in our team colors (Fernand and Ate, in particular, goin' Sadies), ready to shoot at anyone shooting back at us. The term “trigger-happy” is not a qualified enough description of what happened to all of us after the ref yelled the countdown before each face-off.
We were real soldiers out there, crouching behind tree branches, hiding behind slabs of metal planted on the ground (one which Matt alias Duck & Cover, knocked over during one game, causing him to freeze from the shock of suddenly realizing he was completely exposed to open fire before he ran to Pat’s side), lying beneath oversized wooden spools of metal cables (Bev and Gwennie could’ve been mistaken for Aeon Flux and Sydney Bristow the way they maneuvered around those things); anything that provided any kind of shield between us and the onslaught of 1 cm balls of yellow paint flying at 200 mi/hour. Some of us chose to guard the fort, providing cover fire for those who risked their lives to capture the flag or approach enemy territory (James, Gwennie, Bev, Ja, Joe, Matt, Riann, Leia, Tin, Cahlo – bravehearts!). Then there are those who were fearless, running across open fields firing like Rambo (PAT AND KAY! YOU CRAZIES!).
The battlefields were vast (okay maybe not but there was a lot of ground to cover for 20 people), but the intention to annihilate the enemy was even more boundless. We would fight no matter what the circumstances; no matter the accidental step on a land mine in the form of cow dung (therefore my call sign), no matter the bodily injury (Joe, Ro and Pat were bleeding and by the third game, everyone had welts and bruises. Leia and Pat had it worst!), no matter the faulty equipment (Ro and Cile had their guns checked, cleaned and replaced a number of times), even friendly fire became an issue (poor Rach. How’s your booty, girlfriend?). We didn’t care!
It was a team effort from both sides of the fence line, but Team Baby Blizzoo prevailed in the end. Good game guys!
More weekend antics to record but it's getting late. So until then, let the battlecry remain in all our bruised-up, banged-up heads...BAAAAAAAAANZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I can't believe it! Iya, who, when I met her, could not look anyone in the eye when she was talking to them, is getting married! It's so weird! Wasn't it just yesterday we were kickin' it on the basketball court with Randy during lunchtime, or doing our book reports together over the phone, talking all night about our h.d.'s (hidden desires...hahaha. what a freakin' great term for crushes!), bs'ing our way through honors english classes (and helping Jhoette write his dumb papers for his), sweating through cheerleading practices, crying for any and every reason there was to cry, covering for each other, meeting new friends and keeping the ones we loved most (are YOU all lucky! Hahaha!), fighting (oh wait, we still do that. Hahaha!).
Anyhow, girl, I'm so happy for you and Chris! Chris, you're a good guy (cuz you still love the Lakers and that's what got you in with me! That and F*R*I*E*N*D*S fanatacism! Hahaha!). GOOD LUCK WITH IYA! SHE'S A HANDFULL!...I mean...take care of my friend. She's cool. Hahaha!
Seriously though, I wish you guys the best of the greatest fortune there is out there to come upon. If you need help with anything, you know where to find me. I've got my clipboard ready to take notes on wedding activities! CONGRATULATIONS!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Thanks Grammy Kay, Fantone, James, Gweeeen, Cile, Fernand, Pat & Randy for such a great evening! C'mon! Who wants to be a member of our club? We're really fun people! So happy and free!!!
And seriously dude, it's only February and 3 engagements already!! What is in the water!!!
So...I've been all happy-go-lucky lately, feeling like nothing in this world could go wrong! But here I am at home right now, stuck, if you will, because when I tried to start my car this morning it made this clicking, choking sound. I thought it was my battery, but my Dad thinks something's wrong with my starter. I'm so ticked off because HI! IT'S ONLY MY SECOND WEEK AT A NEW JOB AND ALREADY I'M CALLING IN A PERSONAL DAY! I was so embarrassed when I talked to my boss this morning. He was really nice about it though. I figured, if I can get a rental car before the afternoon, I'll go to work anyhow and just leave late.
UNFORTUNATELY, between trying to get through AAA and Toyota of Glendale, I think I'm gonna be stuck here all day cuz neither of them are letting me through! I've been calling Toyota since 7 am (which is when they open) and I've been calling AAA and the recording is telling me that they're experiencing a high volume of phone calls so I waited for like ever until my boss called me back on the other line. Hello! What if I was in the middle of nowhere!
Anyhoo...just had to vent a little. I'm fine, just peeved. I better try them again. WISH ME LUCK!
My mom said I could’ve been born on Valentine’s Day, but apparently I couldn’t wait to get out. Hahaha! It’s okay though. I love that my birthday falls on the day before Valentine’s Day because by the time February 14th comes aroung, I've found hundreds of reasons to love this world. I’m completely insulated by love, and today is the perfect time to herald it!
Thanks everyone, for making my 28th birthday soooooooooo special! Thanks for all the gifts, emails, IM's, phone calls and of course texts (Especially Cile’s 25 texts cuz she got all of you to greet me for her cuz she forgot her cell phone at home! HAHAHA! That was the best!)
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! Bachelors and bachelorettes, I'll see you at the next Singles Awareness Day meeting!
Monday, February 13, 2006
“Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have.” - Anonymous
Everyone’s been telling me how different I am lately. I look different, sound different, act differently, etc. Which is funny because I remember quite distinctly, 3 years ago, when someone asked me why I was so UNhappy. Until that evening, I never really thought I was. Looking back, though, she had every right to put me on the spot. At 25 years old, I felt like a restless spirit. waiting for something good to happen to me. I craved it. I deserved it. And until I got it, I was just going to have to fake it. And we all know what happens when you lie to everyone (especially when you lie to yourself). You’re f*ckin’ screwed.
Finding happiness has become such a complicated thing in this world. So many of us postpone any feeling of joy until a more appropriate time – later, always later. We tell ourselves that we’ll achieve true happiness when we’ve put a check mark by everything on Life’s Never-ending List of Tasks to complete before we die. I know because I was a serial postponer and a serial waiter, hoping for someone to come or something to happen to make that emotion flutter my insides with contentment. I was constantly deferring the very happiness that I had so been longing for. Who knew that the only place I would find it would be the most unexpected: myself.
That has truly made all the difference in me that everyone keeps asking about. Cile once told me that I have to, “take care of my own shit. Stop worrying about what other people think, what other people need all the time from you. Take care of yourself! Take care of YOUR happiness, Anna.” It was like ten light bulbs turning on in my head. I have everything in me that I need to feel happy. Everyone and everything else I’m blessed with, like loving family and friends, are just bonuses! Incidentally, Cile’s also the person who asked me, three years ago, why I was so unhappy. You should’ve told me all this in 2003, Cile! Hahaha!!! I’m just kidding.
Anyhow, I am happy right now and 28 years old doesn’t seem so bad, no matter how close it is to that next milestone. I find myself smiling more, not worrying so much, being more efficient at problemsolving, looking forward to everything to come, good and bad. I could not ask for a better life than this. (Watch me eat my words tomorrow. Oh well, then we'll just deal with it.)
My Cornball Song for Today:
Feelin' So Good
When I opened up my eyes today
Felt the sun shining on my face
It became so clear to me that everything is going my way
I feel like there's no limit to what I can see
Got rid of fears that were holding me
My endless possibilities has the whole world opened for me
I'm feeling so good I knew that I would
Be taking care of myself Like I should
'Cause not one thing can bring me down
Nothing in this world’s gonna turn me round...
Now the day is turning into night
And everything is still going right
There's no way you can stop me this time
Or break this spirit of mine, oh no
Like the stars above I'm gonna shine
Anything I want will be mine
Tonight I'm gonna have a good time
Call a few friends of mine
'Cause I'm loving life
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Everyone's been asking me how the new job has been. Well, I gotta say that the 40-mile commute has been bearable. I've learned so much in just three days. For example, if I leave Glendale at 7:15 am, I'll get to Thousand Oaks at 8:30 am. If I leave at 6:30 am, I can get there at 7:20 ON A GOOD DAY, and 7:30 on a bad one. I left Thousand Oaks at 5:10 pm on Monday and got to Glendale at 6:10. The next day I left at 4:40 and STILL got home at 6:10. Today I left at 4:05 and got to Burbank at 5:10. So, what is the moral of the story? The moral is I work freakin' far and it doesn't matter jack squat what time I leave because I'll ALWAYS HIT TRAFFIC! Hahaha...I put gas in my car on Sunday and my next fill was...TODAY. Wow....
Other than the drive, which, if you get beyond the insanity that is Southern California traffic, is actually kinda nice, especially when you get to the mountains. I had a moment this morning, driving between the green and mahogany hills, going at about 65 mph, with “Breakaway” playing in the car. I thought about how different this Wednesday was from last Wednesday, and I asked myself to be patient. If there’s anything good that comes out of these commutes, it’s my alone time, which these days is rare.
So, I get in 30 minutes before anyone in my department (which is just me, my boss Bob, Barbara and Kirsten). I don’t have to answer phones or get things done by a certain time during the day and…it’s soo chill! I don’t hate it. I’m just not used to it. I went from doing something every minute of every 8-hour day, to waiting for someone to hand me something to do. I found myself kinda restless today, truth be told. But I guess it comes with this new position I’m in. They're still trying to figure out how to work me into their system.
Any new buddies? Well, aside from my department and of course, Grandma Kay, who I’ve lunched with these last two days, I’ve really only gotten close to one. We’ve been hanging out, working together since I got there. Every morning we go through data (ALL KINDS!) and compile it in proper little tables. Been so helpful to me this week and I have a feeling we’ll be tackling this job of mine together for as long as I’m there. Maybe you’ve met. My homie’s name is EXCEL! Seriously, I have never worked with Excel so much in my soon-to-be 28 years of life! And when they said in the interview that I’d be helping compile reports, THEY WEREN’T LYING!
Anyhow, so far so good. Thanks to everyone for their well-wishes!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
May I be frank? February 1, 2006 was the best Wednesday ever! Hahaha! I haven't had drinks on a weeknight since college! That night, I wasn't even planning to drink! I drove for crying out loud! But lately I just haven't been able to resist. "Live a little, Anna!" continues to reverberate in this brain of mine ever since Mammoth.
Like I said, IT WAS THE BEST WEDNESDAY EVER!
Too bad he doesn't remember anything.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!!!
Monday, February 06, 2006
Lately I've been going through this thing and I don't know how to explain it. I'm sure you’ve read that a lot on this blog. I seem to discover and re-discover things all the time, and each encounter always feels like a different experience. Sometimes the 2nd or 3rd re-discovery makes life a real pain the rear. But there are those rare times that stunt your busybody world just enough so you can say, “Holy crap. Why am I so damn lucky?”
As high school teenagers, we never felt fearful that we’d be without a date to a dance. Keeping each other as “backups” was more of an honor or an assumed duty, than it ever was an offensive position to be in. As college pre-adults, we encouraged each other to get past the unfamiliar territories of academic probation. In between seeing each other find trouble, solve life issues, graduate, change careers, and fall in and out of love, we have learned to support each other like no one’s business.
In light of supporting each other a certain way, we also grew up and ultimately found life outside the comforts of what we’ve grown so accustomed to. And with this newfound world, we learned we could fight as well as we could support each other…and that’s okay.
These friends of mine and I, we’re like a married couple. We enjoyed the honeymoon period of adolescence and the freedom of college life with mighty exuberance and tenacity, not letting one person, one situation come between what mattered most. But everyone knows that the real marriage happens after that time is up. Here in this world, the real work begins, for better or for worse. After 10 years of what we've been through, I think we’re still game.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
(Even though he doesn't read this. )
HUNG OVER ON A THURSDAY MORNING...wow...
That was hilarious last night guys...THANKS! Dude, I have so many pictures to post. Hahaha...Oh James, you were...oh man...I don't know what's harder to get out of my mind: James sitting on the curb, hurling, unable to hold himself up...or James spewing his insides onto Pat & Gwen's living room wall....OH GEEZ! HAHAHAHA!!!