Thursday, August 28, 2003


so umm, britney spears and christina aguilera just performed with madonna on the vma's. as iya would say, "what the heeck?" so iya and i were on the phone tonight watching the beginning of the show. someone came up singing LIKE A VIRGIN, lifted up her veil and we were like "what the hell it's freakin' britney spears!" then someone comes out from the bottom of the staircase and iya's like, "is that ashanti?" and i'm all, "naw her boobs are too small." then SHE lifts up HER veil and we're like "WOH IT'S CHRISTINA FREAKIN' AGUILERA!!!" AND THEN MADONNA FREAKIN' KISSED THEM!! we were not expecting THAT! it's 2 and a half hours later and I'm still like woh...shocked...

My biggest, most sensitive pet peeve is rudeness! AAAAAAHHH!!! customer service being part of my job, i've been yelled at and hung up on more times than you say the word "and" in one day. and over what? A $5.75 LATE CHARGE?????? granted, SOME people's cases MAY call for us to waive a late charge here and there, but when they ADMIT that they're late because they THREW AWAY their statement, NO WAY MAN! that $5.75 is stayin' on your account and i will bill you until you pay it. and if you don't want to, we're sending it to a collection agency!

a lot of people think i'm pretty even-tempered and that it takes an army of nuisances to get me THAT angry. you should spend a day with me at work and YOU WILL SEE just how this job has toughened me up. sometimes i surprise myself!
has anyone ever watched MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING? i LOVE that movie. the dialogue IS shakesperean so it was a little daunting when the first words came out of emma thompson's mouth. but seeing the action sure helps. i don't think i could read the play and have the same kind of understanding as i do when i can watch it. anyhow, if you ever have a chance to watch it (or you can borrow it from me =p cuz i have the dvd) i think it can teach you a thing or two about love.

so it's called MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING and the first time i watched it i couldn't figure out why they would call it that. well, here's MY take on it. the whole play's got everything you need in a shakespearean plot (this one's a comedy): love, deceit and mistaken identities. throughout the story, people are afraid to admit how they feel for another or just don't realize it until a third party shows them; or they're deceived into thinking the one they love has been untrue...essentially, the whole play consists of people running around in circles, plotting and scheming the futures of someone's love, when all people need to do when they have feelings for freakin' tell them! what a simple solution. TOO BAD IT'S HARD AS HELL TO DO....and before i go any further on this subject, i'll stop while i'm ahead. on to the next entry...

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

i'm so sleepy, but carson on QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY (one of my new fave shows) said the funniest thing on tonight's episode. he was going thru this guy's closet and he found a mock turtle neck shirt. and he asks jai, "hey you know why these are called mock turtlenecks?" and jai says, "no, why?" and carson responds, "cuz people make fun of you when you wear them." ha ha ha....i was DYING!!!!!! ha ha ha...el fin...
it's almost midnight and I AM BEAT! i actually got myself to drive to the gym to work out tonight. 6:45 pm i tell myself, "you will work out for at least an hour dammit!" and that i did. i even stuck around turbo kickboxing (TKB) class for 20 minutes (riann they're on freakin' round 17!!!). i started with 10 minutes of stretching with BLISTER IN THE SUN blasting through the headphones, then TOO MUCH BOOTY IN THE PANTS and beyonce's GOTTA WORK IT OUT carried me thru 10 minutes on the stairclimber. at this point I AM PUMPED! so i head to the treadmill for 15 minutes, walking briskly to the sounds of black sheep's THE CHOICE IS YOURS, xtina's DIRRTY and sean paul's GET BUSY. by this time i'm debating whether to stop in on TKB at 7:30 or just use the machines. so i work my arms a bit and at 7:25 i say, okay, maybe for a little bit. so i hop into class, watching the "cool kids" standing right by the platform, kissing ass to our instructor james, and i know what they're thinking as they stare at the not-so-fit people in the class: i am SO what these people should strive to be. i hate to think this but i know it's true. don't get riann and i started on faux pauxs at the gym. you'll be laughing for days!

oh! i went to BEST BUY during my lunch today and i bought LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS!!!! i'm excited cuz there's a 10 min preview of RETURN OF THE KING. i'm a hundred pages away from the end of the third book and i absolutely cannot wait to see how the third installment will look on the screen. aaahhhh EXCITED!

it's getting late and i should go to bed. my sister is freakin' hilarious! she's trying desperately to fall asleep cuz it's her first day of 8th grade tomorrow and she needs to wake her ass up at 6:15 am even though she's grown so accustomed to getting up at 11 am! seriously though, i'm excited to see what the year will bring to her. her teacher was MY 7th grade teacher and it's a little hard for me to believe it's been 11 years since i graduated from that place. and now here's tin, in her last year of elementary school. a year from now she'll be in high school.... and when she graduates then...I'LL BE 30!!!!!!!!! the only conselation here? WE'LL ALL BE THIRTY! ha ha ha...that's better. oh man, like sands thru the hour glass....

Tuesday, August 26, 2003's something people complain they don't have enough of but often take for granted when they're given too much. this past year i've had the pleasure of attending 8 weddings. a lot of people in my place would've probably choked themselves after the 3rd or 4th matrimonial celebration, but i loved and cherished every minute i got to witness. for those 8 couples time was definitely of the essence. having been given this chance, this day to publicly dedicate themselves to each other in front of their families, friends and God, they epitomized the Carpe Diem attitude so many people walk pass, many people like me.

last sunday i came home from san diego, having spent another fun-filled weekend with friends, tired and ready to pass out. as i pulled into the driveway, i noticed the number of cars parked on our side of the street, which you're not allowed to park on. and up the stairs from the garage i climbed, duffelbag, pillows and such in hand, psyched to take a shower and hit the sack, when i saw people were gathered in front of unit #3 (i live in a 6 unit townhouse). as i turned the key in the doorknob, the ambiance became curiouser and curiouser. mom and dad met me at the door and i knew that something had to have happened with the look of disdain in their faces. one of the sons of our neighbor had just exited the freeway to come home at 3 am on friday night, accompanied by his two friends. for a reason i am still unaware of, his car flips over to the other side of the road and burst into flames, killing him and his friend sitting in the front instantly and hospitalizes his friend sittting in the back. his parents were away on vacation in australia when this happened and came home on the earliest flight they could get. i don't even think they were told their son had died at the time of the phonecall. he was only 24 years old, engaged to be married in 2004. he has an older brother, 26, who's married and a 21-year old younger brother. he was literally 3 blocks from home.

all week i've been retelling this tragic story, sometimes wondering why then realizing it's because i don't know how else to deal with it. i mean, i didn't know him at all. we crossed paths around the building every so often, giving way to the other when we're coming in and out of the garage, but that's as far as our co-existence went. his family and friends have been coming to his house for the last week to lend their support and carry out their sympathies to his parents. my grandparents and my parents went to pay their respects too and i SO wanted to go, but couldn't get myself to when it came time to walk 15 feet to their door. my mom says his mom couldn't stop crying, and who could blame her. a parent is never supposed to bury their child.

two weeks ago, my ninong's father passed away in san francisco and tonight my aunt called to let us know she and my uncle are leaving for the philippines tomorrow because his father just died. granted, these two men had lived their lives; they saw their children get married and were fortunate enough to spend time with their grandchildren. but what about the 24-year old who was 2 minutes from home when an uncontrollable force took away his chance at being a husband and father?

we all live by a thread, never knowing when the weight will be too much. and just when it becomes more than it can carry...SNAP! our lives are done, with no second chances to leave off from. everyone's thread is a different thickness, a different density, thereby giving us all various limits of resistance. but only Lord knows the whens and hows of our end. and until then i hope i can learn how to live knowing that the next minute may be my last; that every morning i get to make my bed is a treat more than it is a chore; that every time i sit and have dinner with my family is a moment to value rather than a time to hurry thru; that every chance i get to pick up a friend for coffee is a pleasure more than it is a hassle; and that every second i have to myself is never lonely time, but thank goodness i'm alive time.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

oh i feel so gross! like i feel yeck! everyone's got days when they just feel good. this can be owed to a good hair day (which defines the day for ME) or perhaps a great outfit. i love those days!!! unfortunately, today was not one of them. after i got out of the shower, i said to myself, i'm not going anywhere, i'll just blowdry my hair half-ass and spend the day in shorts and a t-shirt. as i mentioned before, i planned on being a bum and i surely succeeded. i spent my sunday in disheveled hair, unshaved legs (oooh what a pretty picture eh guys?), in my shorts and a UCIrvine tshirt. i sat in front of the tv for 4 straight hours (waiting for my laundry to get done so it wasn't a completely unproductive day) and then it came to me just like that....that awful feeling of sloth....aaack!!! i hate that. so tomorrow begins another stab at getting back on the workout regimen. it's 24 hour fitness at least 3-4 times a week or die!
so last night i ATTEMPTED to put a tagbox thingy on my blog page and i cannot for the life of me figure out where in the template to put this thing. i know you're all itching to put your 2 cents in on my entries and i can't wait to hear from you...IF I COULD ONLY PLACE THE TAGBOX ON THIS THING!!!...but enough of that. that's a thing to be figured out soon enough. besides, maybe it's cuz i was kinda tired last night. i was trying to get this done at like 1:30 am!

i came home from BJ's at about 12:30 am. i was treated to yet another evening dedicated to conversation, laughter, drinking and eating in the company of such great characters as that of riann, joe, andrew, patrick, edwin, stacy, rochelle and matt. i had exactly $20 in my wallet last night...courtesy of daddy. my dad knows i don't get paid until friday and he practically threw the money at me, knowing my pride wouldn't take such an offer. but i believe there are times when my parents realize that i'm not one for them to take care of anymore (except to provide the hearth which i inhabit of course) and they kinda miss having the all-encompassing financial power. so i copped my dad out of a twenty cuz the thought of a pizzookie was unbearable! no crime here...

anyhow, so i came home, attempted to put in a chatter/tagbox onto this blog when at 1:35 i discovered...anna you suck at this. even joe said so, just ask cile how to do it in the morning. ha ha ha...

this morning i got up at 10:30, read a few pages of a bedside table book and i decided: today i'm gonna be a bum. i had some brunch (cuz it was 11:15 or something by the time i finally went downstairs), watched MIB II all the way thru (it was on HBO), talked to my aunts who came over, played with some pictures on the computer, took a shower...and then went back downstairs to do more nothing. actually i watched something on the travel channel that made me sad...THE COUNTDOWN OF HAWAII'S MOST BEAUTIFUL BEACHES! WAAAAAAAHHHHH TAKE ME BACK! what must i do???...that was my whining for today. my new year's resolution was to CONTROL my whining and complaining. have i been successful? inside i've been really no avail it seems sometimes but the year's not over yet.

i do miss hawaii though, maybe not so much the beauty of the place itself (although that didn't hurt), but the way i was and the the way i felt when i was there. i put a lot of pressure on that trip long before the FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS signs were lit. and i have never felt so accomplished! i can't remember a time in the last few years where i was THAT relaxed, and THAT content and THAT down to do anything. all the tension in my shoulders caused by repetitive motions (i.e. typing and answering phones. talk about carpel tunnel!) disappeared when we landed in honolulu. what kinda place can do that for you? HAWAII! i think i'll go back next year. anyone wanna come?
it's 9:33 am, saturday right now and what i wanna know is...WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING UP? well, my cousin christian called and asked for directions to corona del mar. i took my cousins and my sister there on the 4th of july and now look! they're hooked! too bad we have to drive all the way there for clean beach water to swim, boogie board or wade in. i wanna laugh everytime i give directions to get there: 5 south to the 605 south to the 405 south to the 73 south exit! sometimes i can't freakin' believe the number of freeways it takes to get there! and to think we used to drive back and forth from LA to irvine...and to think we did that for 4 years! crazy...

so yesterday my sister was part of this piano contest run buy an organization called AFNA. i couldn't tell you what that stands for so don't ask. all i know is that they're a foundation made up of different music schools and they have this event every year for young pianists and accordion players. anyhow, i didn't make it to her performance like my parents did cuz i couldn't get out of work. but i made it to the radisson hotel by LAX just in time for the banquet and awards ceremony.

let me tell you something about my 13 year old sister. she's not one to get excited or nervous about ANYTHING. riann calls her DARIA and to a certain extent, she sure portrays the MTV cartoon to a T. but tin's piano teacher has been preparing her for this evening for months! and i can't tell you the number of times i've had to listen to her piece, IMPATIENCE, a piece she literally breathed and slept! oh the repition involved on the road to perfection! she had that piece SO perfected she even had time to compose a page or two of orginal music. i'm not talking about some right-handed lullaby. i mean a piece that could rival young mozart (ok i'm exaggerrating but it's really good). anyhow, my sister, in all her talent for art and music has definitely monopolized the right brain genes of our parents. when it comes to levels of creativity, if it's not about scrapbooking, i am at a loss. i remember freshman year at uci when cile used to try to get me to do something artsy with her to devoid my mind of chemistry, physics, calculus and fortran, even for just a moment. and once i did try and the results were nothing short of laughable. all i remember cile saying to me was, "anna, how come everything you draw is symmetrical?" i had never felt so close to my left brain...but i digress...

my parents said that the one area of IMPATIENCE that my sister played through in practice like cake was the one area she misplayed. some nerves finally got to tin! but she isn't one to dwell on such trivialities (is that a word?). at the banquet all the participants received medals; a bronze medallion engraved with the G-clef. and the winners of each category are broken down into different "royal courts." they had categories from 4-7 year old "counts and countesses" to 16 & 17 year old "kings and queens" of the accordion and piano. to put into perspective how huge this event was, let me just tell you that there were 80 tables in the ballroom! 800 people! each seat was filled by hopeful musicians, not to mention even more hopeful parents, waiting for their child's name to be called. i can't even begin to tell you how overwhelmed i was at this place. this 4 year-old girl with blonde curls, clad in a pink dress won in her division for the accordion! 4 YEARS OLD! she was SO cute! close by was a lady with fire-red hair and i heard her call out, "piper, come here" to her 8 year-old pianist daughter who had just come down from the stage after receiving her trophy, proud as can be, with a smile so big you'd think she'd just seen santa claus buying groceries at vons! and oh how all the performers were dressed!! talk about prom! little boys were in suits and tuxes and i even saw a few in barongs. and little girls in their pretty dresses with their hair done. amazing! you just KNEW that this is what they lived for: competition.

the cool thing about this contest? all the kids got trophies! there are the top winners, the runners-up and the honorable mentions. my sister got an honorable mention. to some kids there, not being named the count, or the princess or the duke or the queen was devastating. there was a girl crying in the bathroom cuz she didn't win the top prize. but my sister couldn't be happier with her honorable mention award and my parents and i felt the same. she even got her name engraved on the trophy (they were getting it done there for only $5
regardless of how long your name was!) and it's sitting on top of the piano, draped with her medal. next time you all come over you'll see it. oh the trials of a concert pianist...well, not really but closer than i'll ever be.

it's time to change the bedsheets now. don't have any exciting plans today (WHAT A MIRACLE!!!!!!). i think i'll wash my car. until next time....

Friday, August 22, 2003

i'm at work right now and lord knows if someone knows i'm logged onto the internet but I WANNA GO HOME!!
you'll probably get the same kinda entry from cile and joe cuz the three of us, including riann, had dinner at revolving sushi tonight. i already ate a little bit for dinner but saved some room anyhow in hopes that cile or iya would call to finalize our plans for a meal at the great CHO CHO SAN. what is it about this place that draws people back? the restaurant is literally the size of my bedroom and it's murder to get seated in a timely manner sometimes, so much so that extreme hunger can often take over and turn you into this ravenous creature. but oh when you sit down and gaze at the sushi treats on the conveyor belt, you suddenly forget everything, thanking heaven you waited 45 min outside in the cold (or heat) to get a chance to be here. am i exaggerrating? not even in the least. just ask REVOLVING SUSHI's #1 fan: CECILE MARIE FORTUN TECSON, who will drive from work in santa monica and back at 9 in the evening to have some spicey tuna.

so i was talking to cile before dinner tonight and poor thing was just worn out at work and distressed over the fact it was 8:30 pm and she STILL had to return to the "office" and finish up more projects. i admire this girl more than anyone will ever know and it is because of her resiliance that she is where she is. yes she's tired and yes she's under pressure at work, but i know it's okay because this is something she's passionate about. that's what i've been looking for in life, something to be passionate about. i haven't been passionate about a darn thing in YEARS and i've been searching just as long for SOMETHING, ANYTHING that'll give me back some kind of definition again.

so cile posted an entry today about how things happen for a reason and sometimes we just have to accept things as they come, figure out what we can learn from it and apply it towards our next goal. instead of ACCEPTING things, i've been complaining my brains out, settling for what i believe is all i am capable of attaining in life and when all is said, i'm still left with nothing but more complaints cuz i'm too afraid of trying and even more petrified of failing. SCREW THIS! i'm tired of complaining about how unfair my life is, that it seems like i'm the only one getting cheated out of a promising career or relationship. i've discovered this past week exactly how unfair life can be, especially if i LET it play out unfairly. so i'm gonna do something to defy unfairness: more knowledge. the more you know, the better off you are. so iya and i are taking some classes at glendale community college this fall. we're taking an accouting class together (oh the excitement). at least i'm being active. it's a long way to the promised land of satisfaction, but all great journeys begin with a single step....

Thursday, August 21, 2003

i'm so confused...this is anna trying to organize and understand her blog...
i've become quite fascinated with blogs this last month or so (i know some people have probably had theirs for like years!). to imagine that someone would take time out from their day just to let others know what they've done, how they're feeling or ask for an opinion! what makes these people wanna do this? a few of my friends say that this is a good way to vent (hence the website address) and i thought to myself, "man, i hardly have time to vent in my own journal, for MY OWN sake, let alone sit and type it out for everyone else to read." but then i figured that maybe the reason why i'm so apprehensive sometimes about sitting and typing out my every emotion on microsoft word (how doogie howser is that?) is because i know that i'm the only one who's gonna read it anyhow (until i've passed on that is...ok morbid!) so what's the rush, what's the point? so i can read it 5 years later and reflect on the ass that i made of myself over a boy? or rediscover the innocence of the childhood that i can no longer have? but here i am, ready to type for all of you so i won't be alone in my reflections. thanks for logging on...