FIGHTING DESTINY

Please take a few seconds and read the following lyrics to a song by Basil Valdez, a Filipino legend when it comes to singing and song-writing.

LIFT UP YOUR HANDS

Life is not at all that bad, my friend
If you believe in yourself
If you believe there's Someone
Who walks through life with you
You'll never be alone
Just learn to reach out,
And open your heart
Lift up your hands to God,
And He'll show you the way.

And He said, "Cast your burdens upon Me
Those who are heavily laden,
Come to Me, all of you who are tired
Of carrying heavy loads,
For the yoke I will give you is easy
And My burden is light,
Come to Me and I will give you rest."

When you feel the world
Is tumblin' down on you,
And you have no one
That you can hold on to,
Just face the rising sun
And you'll see hope,
And there's no need to run
Lift up your hands to God,
And He'll make you feel all right.

And He said, "Cast your burdens upon Me
Those who are heavily laden,
Come to Me, all of you who are tired
Of carrying heavy loads,
For the yoke I will give you is easy
And My burden is light,
Come to Me and I will give you rest."

I spent the weekend up in Running Springs (it's by Big Bear, but not quite so far up) to help out with a retreat. Actually, I almost didn't make it. All week last week I struggled with this decision and it seemed that every time I stumbled upon a reason not to go, something or someone always found a way for me to make it. I don't know what was stopping me. Homework? Family gatherings and obligations? A friend's party? All of it mattered to me, but something inside kept pushing me to go. I literally decided to attend the retreat late Thursday evening and I packed so haphazzardly that I didn't even know what the heck I put into my duffle bag when it was time for me to change on Saturday afternoon.

So I did participate and I'm so glad I did. It's funny how God works sometimes. We ask for help, we ask for relief and when it comes time for our prayers to be answered, we're so pre-occupied that we don't notice it. The last few months have been nothing short of hectic for me and as much as I enjoy hanging out with friends and family, I suddenly grew very tired and I felt like I was wearing myself thin trying to participate in every event, every outing, every conversation, etc. I remember saying how I'd love to just be away for a weekend with my cell phone off...just me. But alone time, I've found, is a luxury. This past weekend looked like another task to me when I first thought of going to this retreat. But I'd have to say that it was exactly where I was supposed to be. Granted I was accompanied by at least 40 or 50 other people (wonderful wonderful newfound friends!), our reason for being up there was where I found solace: to be away from our daily stresses and spend some time with God. Just me and You, God.

I've been teased since I was little about being "holy" or "immaculate" and at first I thought it was a compliment. Later on it became a burden; as if I were this prude putting on a show for people. "Look at me, holier than thou." It was never about that, but I know it's what some of my friends might've thought. For a long while I did re-examine this theory. WAS I being self-righteous or did others just not understand? And then I realized, it's no one's business and my faith is my own.

LIFT UP YOUR HANDS (reminds me of my friend Glenn, but that's a story to be heard from the eye witnesses...hee hee hee...Dorothee, write about it in your blog please!) - I love this song because it signifies a solution to everything I find difficult to understand or deal with, and that's prayer. I can't recommend it enough.