WHY MUST IT COME TO THIS?

Yesterday I found out that my friend’s father passed away. He’d been suffering from cancer (prostate and then bone I believe) for a few years now and, again, although he’s no longer in pain, it’s sad to think that he had to die to attain such relief. I heard of his death at about 8:45 yesterday morning and it has been all I can think about until now. This is the 4th time since August I’ve heard about someone’s passing and I realize it’s not an announcement you can ever get used to hearing. First you think logically to yourself; someone has died, they’re no longer breathing, they’ve left their physical shells, etc. And then something hits home. That person was someone’s son or daughter, someone’s mother, grandfather, someone’s father, and as far as their life on earth goes, their run is basically done and there isn’t much we can do about keeping them from that finish line.

I’m not much of a crier (unlike Iya, who can LITERALLY cry at the drop of hat), but there are certain things my mind can merely glance at that would bring me to tears. Thinking about death is one of those things. As much as I’d like to say that it’s not the WHEN I’m afraid of, but the HOW, it depresses me to think about not being here to exchange gifts with my family or have coffee with my friends. Worse yet, not having a loved one here for me to spend time with. You think to yourself, how can the Lord be so unfair as to give a life only to take it back? Instead of receiving healing from an illness, why does someone have to die because of it?

I guess there are no easy answers when it comes to questions about dying and death. But I’ve heard a lot of people give solutions easily when it comes to living life. You’ve heard most of them I’m sure: LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST, CARPE DIEM, SEIZE THE DAY, LIFE IS TOO SHORT, etc…Yes they’ve all become clichés, things you say in a speech to a newly-graduated class to inspire or worse yet, the theme of your high school yearbook. They’ve become overstated and tired. But in times such is these, they seem to mean a lot more than we’ve made them out to be. Because when someone has died, whether it’s someone close to us or someone we hear about on tv, you suddenly begin to think about all the issues you have pending in your life: the book you’ve been meaning to read but have never found time for, the boxes of pictures you started scrapbooking 3 years ago but are always too tired to finish, the dress you’ve been saving for a special occasion, the vacation with your family you’ve been meaning to plan, and the fight with a friend you’ve been lulling over so long you can’t remember why you made each other so angry. You think about these things for awhile hoping and planning on finally doing something about it, until you’re distracted by another one of life’s worries. Before you know it, another 5 years have passed and you still haven’t read that book, those pictures are still in those boxes, you’ve outgrown the dress, your family’s disbanded and your strained relationship with that friend has surpassed all hope of resolution. Life IS too short not to do the things you want, not to love the people who love you and I wish I could remind myself daily that tomorrow may not be mine to plan on.