All Up In My Birthday Suit!

Naked you say? No I'm not naked, but I am 26 today (in a few minutes)...Why do I cringe when I say that? I don't understand. Everyone around me (except of course you all who are undergoing the same life-altering changes), keeps saying things like, "oh you're still such a baby!" or "26? You've got such a long life ahead of you still!" I guess I'm just a little bit, how shall I say this? In denial. When am I never in denial of something right? But still, age has always been something I welcomed. In fact, when I was younger, like a teenager (EEKS I HAVEN'T BEEN A TEENAGER IN 7 YEARS!), I couldn't wait to be 22! I thought that at 22, I will have graduated from college, I'd have this great career, and I'd be engaged. Let's see, bachelor's degree? CHECK! Great career? WILL GET THERE...Engaged? BIG FAT NEGATORY...Hey look, a poem about this very subject. It's called:

...Or Lack Thereof...

If I could tell you
What I do
Right to the very minute
You'd yawn yourself
To the very death
With the lack of life that's in it
I wake up every morning
With a chance
To follow through
With plans and dreams
And hopes that seem
Too big to come true
I trudge right through
The weary day
Dragging step by step
With tensions mounting
In my head
For this life I can't accept
I can't accept
That this is all
My destiny has to give
What happened to
The great career
And the life I dreamt to live
What happend to
The fantasy
Of the man they said would come
The one who'd sweep me
Off my feet --
Is that dream just for some
What happened to
The beautiful house
I planned to sit and dwell
Did someone come
And tear it down
Why, I just can't tell
Please tell me
That I'm dreaming
That I have a fighting chance
To have that home
That great career
And meet some sweet romance
Tell me that
This isn't all
My future has in store
Tell me this
Is temporary
Tell me this...or nothing more.

Yay! WAY TO BE OPTIMISTIC ON YOUR BIRTHDAY ANNA! But seriously, my point is that, I may complain about hating my job, or not having a boyfriend and not living like a rap star, but I am very grateful for having who and what I DO have in my life. At least I HAVE a job to support my needs and non-needs (a new j.crew hooded cardigan? bring it on!). I have a loving loving family who harbors nothing but pride and exemplary support for me. I have friends who I share immense amounts of grief and joy with. Amidst the complaining, in all the moments of great frustration and longing, the bottom line is, I am greatly blessed.

A good friend once told me, "Welcome everything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else." I think I may try to make that my mantra this year. Then by the time 27 comes around, maybe I'll be writing poems about trees and flowers instead of dilapidated aspirations. Anyhow, 10 minutes to midnight -- 26 here I come!