ABERCROMBIE & FITCH

In the words of LFO, “I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch.”…well it’s really no wonder why. Everyone who works there sporting the goods (including the guys) all seem to be attractive young people. I haven’t bought a single article of clothing from there in practically 2 years. Maybe I just haven’t found anything remotely reflective of my style or maybe it’s because you can’t buy anything there for less than $40 unless it’s on the clearance rack. Anyhow, Tita Cecile gave me a $50 gift card for my birthday and since I was gonna be at the mall to shop with Iya and Bobbers anyhow, I thought I’d have a look and see if something there would catch my eye. First I went searching for this blouse I saw on the website. Yes I went on the website. It was one of those bored-to-hell-at-work days (when is it NOT this kind of day, but anyhow), and I remembered the gift card, so I thought I’d peruse the website to see if they had anything I liked. So I found this one blouse and when I got to the store yesterday, ‘lo and behold, there it was staring at me. I grabbed it to try on, knowing it cost $39.50, in addition to another blouse for the same price…just for fun.

I walked through the rest of the store to see if anything else was worth trying on and I noticed that there were a lot more people working the floor than usual. Apparently, there was a group of new-hires getting trained and let me tell you, my insecurities, fully-accepted as they have been for years, came rushing back as I looked at Abercrombie’s newest employees. Handsome young men, who you just know were probably voted most athletic or most popular in their class, were all over the place, hanging new arrivals on display as they modeled the latest merchandise: striped polos worn 2 at a time, with both collars up, cargo shorts and flipflops. With their rusted blonde hair and green and blue eyes, these model-looking guys complimented the cursed little petite chicks, (cheerleaders I bet) parading the store in their short-ass (LITERALLY!) Paris Hilton skirts and A & F tanks and tubetops.

Am I jealous? HEALL YEAH! How many souls does one have to sell to Satan to look like that? To quote Jamie from 98.7, “Bitter – party of 1?!” (Ha ha ha Iya!)