ANGER, BITTERNESS and PRIDE

…aaaaahh, some of my favorite emotions…but also three of the most self-destructive. Is it safe to say we've all felt these things at one time or another? I know I have, more than I’d like to admit. Whether you feel these things towards a family member, your closest friends, your co-worker, your boyfriend/girlfriend (or EX boyfriend/girlfriend) who you feel has done you wrong, the outcome can all end in the same aggravation. It’s not bad to feel these things, as I’ve learned. In fact, I’ve been taught that it’s actually healthy to recognize one’s anger and bitterness in a situation if only to “get it outta of your system.” It’s the length of time we hang on to those emotions and the amount of energy we expend acting on them that’s the problem.

So why talk about this? Because I just saw this movie called “IN LOVE AND WAR,” with Chris O'Donnell and Sandra Bullock. The film itself isn’t the best that Hollywood has had to offer, and it’s based on the life of a prominent but age old author. However, the message it sends out surely stands the test of time. The movie, in my opinion, is about the effects of clinging on to what feels most secure to us when we feel we’ve been deceived: our anger, our bitterness, our pride.

The movie (if you don’t want me to kill it for you, then stop reading), based on Ernest Hemingway’s own experiences, tells of the famous writer's life during World War II. Ernie, as he was more commonly called, was a reporter who’d hoped to get as close to the “action” as possible so he got a job working for the Red Cross in Italy as, not a soldier, but an ambulance driver. After being wounded during a visit to one of the trenches, he ended up in the hospital where he met and fell in love with, a nurse, Agnes. Apprehensive about showing her true feelings for him because of their 7 year age difference (Agnes was 26 and Ernie was 19), she waited until the night before Ernie had to return to the states to show him just how much she cared for him. He vowed that they should write to each other often and would marry upon Agnes’ return to the states. The next morning, as his train was leaving, he yelled out to Agnes, "Tell me you love me!" And she said it, but in a whisper that only she could have heard.

Time went on and one of the Italian doctors who worked with the nurses at the Red Cross fell in love with Agnes, asked her to marry him and help him establish a new hospital in Italy. Torn between her love for the man waiting for her an ocean away and the opportunity that staying in Italy would bring, she decided to do what she thought was best. She wrote Ernie and told him that she didn't want to keep him from living his life only to wait for her. He was devastated and used his writing to keep him afloat. After about 8 months, Agnes came to NY to have lunch with Harry, a mutual friend of hers and Ernie’s who worked with them in Italy. Knowing of his friends’ woes, he asked Agnes, "do you love him?" and she said “yes.” Then he asked, "Have you ever told him?" and she answered, "yes, but he didn't hear me."

So Agnes goes to visit Ernie and, rightfully so, he's too proud and hurt to be nice to her. When she tells him that she loves him and would her whole life, he let his anger and bitterness let her walk away and they never saw each other again…I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING FOR SOME REASON!

Anyhow, I don’t know much about this renowned author, but his unfortunate experience is, sadly, all too familiar. I learned 2 things from this movie: #1 - Can't let anger and bitterness eat you up inside so much that there's no part of your heart left to love again #2 - Regret is a terrible thing. It can stay with you forever unless you do something about it (I'm WONDERFUL at regret. Just ask me about it)....That's all folks! Sorry for the long ass entry. But I've been wanting to write about this since Wednesday. I'm spending the weekend up north with my family so everyone have an excellent long weekend!!!