SLIDING DOORS
Who has seen this movie? I seriously think that I’m one of the last people in the world who hadn’t seen it…until tonight. Edwin loves this movie and every single time we mention it he always raves about what a great movie it is. It can be characterized as a chickflick, yes, because, it IS about a chick, but it’s a movie about so much more than a chick and her problems.
I had a free rental at Blockbuster this month so I decided to finally grab this dvd and decide for myself what I thought about it and the verdict is…I loved it! It’s one of very few movies out there where the ending (at least to me) is actually not as predictable as others can be. I won’t kill it for the few who may not have seen it yet, but it just makes you put things in perspective. We have a million moments everyday, each one undoubtedly affecting the next. And…you just never know how 1 second of your day can affect you a year from then.
Do I believe in predestination? Yes, actually I do. Do I believe in the free will we’ve been taught that God has given us? No doubt. You wonder how one can believe in predestination and free will at the same time. I think that every single time we practice our free will, we’re setting up our destiny. This choice will cause this, and that choice will cause that. We’re all destined for SOMETHING. But WE truly are the makers of our own destiny. And the weirdest part is, we don’t know what that is. Confused? Yeah, me too if I think anymore about this.
Anyhow, Sliding Doors totally makes you think, kinda like that “what if” factor we always talk about. "What if I had just gone to UCLA instead of UCI?" or "What if I had moved away instead of staying here?"...all these sources of wonderment. But I think that everything happens for a reason, everything…from the most seemingly trivial instances and decisions we encounter to the most “life-altering” experiences. I can’t stop saying or thinking this, but you just never know…
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
BIG SIS AND HER MAHAL
Belated Happy 28th Birthday to Annie & Will!!! The 2 hours to get seated at Bubba Gump was worth the wait, if only to celebrate your special days! And in Big Sis' honor...
Getting to know...
ANNALYN B. VALDEZ aka ANNIE aka BIG SIS
Vitals: Got acquainted during my junior year at UCI because she was one of THE PCN co-coordinators and I was one of the costumes coordinators = 6 years and counting
Role In My Life: Big Sis – Annie and Ate Tin-Tin both worked at the bookstore before I got there and people used to get them mixed up all the time, thinking they were sisters so they ended up calling each other “sis” and I, well, I became “little sis.” And it couldn’t have been more fitting because that’s what Annie’s been to me these last few years, another wonderful Big Sis. I admire her for the travels she’s experienced (she spent time in Turkey!) and the achievements she’s attained. We’ve also seen each other through the most joyous, as well as unhappiest of moments and although we don’t get a chance to talk now as often as we used to, I know I can count on her for guidance and comfort in any matter…all that AND she’s a trained bartender!
Good Times: Aside from endless mornings of shelving books and hearing each other’s gripes (and Annie’s monstrous burps from across the bookstore), Disneyland is what holds a special place in our hearts. During my 4th year at UCI, with Ate and Annie still working for the bookstore, all 3 of us took advantage of our Orange County surroundings. With Disneyland season passes in hand, us 3 sisters would drive up to the happiest place on earth after a long day at work or school practically every week (cuz it was only 20 minutes away) and bury our troubles in cotton candy, frozen bananas, tomorrowland fries and of course, rides.
In her own words: (picture us standing knee deep at Hanauma Bay in Hawaii for snorkeling with Annie’s arms crossed over her chest) “I don’t like this bikini top. (Why Annie? How come?) Cuz there’s no lining and if I don’t cover it you can see my…buddies.”
Belated Happy 28th Birthday to Annie & Will!!! The 2 hours to get seated at Bubba Gump was worth the wait, if only to celebrate your special days! And in Big Sis' honor...
Getting to know...
ANNALYN B. VALDEZ aka ANNIE aka BIG SIS
Vitals: Got acquainted during my junior year at UCI because she was one of THE PCN co-coordinators and I was one of the costumes coordinators = 6 years and counting
Role In My Life: Big Sis – Annie and Ate Tin-Tin both worked at the bookstore before I got there and people used to get them mixed up all the time, thinking they were sisters so they ended up calling each other “sis” and I, well, I became “little sis.” And it couldn’t have been more fitting because that’s what Annie’s been to me these last few years, another wonderful Big Sis. I admire her for the travels she’s experienced (she spent time in Turkey!) and the achievements she’s attained. We’ve also seen each other through the most joyous, as well as unhappiest of moments and although we don’t get a chance to talk now as often as we used to, I know I can count on her for guidance and comfort in any matter…all that AND she’s a trained bartender!
Good Times: Aside from endless mornings of shelving books and hearing each other’s gripes (and Annie’s monstrous burps from across the bookstore), Disneyland is what holds a special place in our hearts. During my 4th year at UCI, with Ate and Annie still working for the bookstore, all 3 of us took advantage of our Orange County surroundings. With Disneyland season passes in hand, us 3 sisters would drive up to the happiest place on earth after a long day at work or school practically every week (cuz it was only 20 minutes away) and bury our troubles in cotton candy, frozen bananas, tomorrowland fries and of course, rides.
In her own words: (picture us standing knee deep at Hanauma Bay in Hawaii for snorkeling with Annie’s arms crossed over her chest) “I don’t like this bikini top. (Why Annie? How come?) Cuz there’s no lining and if I don’t cover it you can see my…buddies.”
Friday, September 24, 2004
TOE UP
Dude, so I woke up 20 minutes late this morning because I didn't hear my sister leave (She's my cue to re-set the alarm clock from 6 am to 7:20 am). I couldn't shorten my shower cuz that's what wakes me up in the morning so by the time I get out of the shower to get ready, it's 7:55 and I still have to get dressed. So I throw on a t-shirt and jeans, then decide that I felt uncomfy, so I changed into overalls (yes Anna, because you had all the time in the world this morning!). I look at the clock again and it's 8:10 am and I still hadn't even started to fix my hair (I start work at 8:30 and it's 10 minutes away). So finally I say, SCREW IT! I put on my glasses (cuz I didn't have time to put on my contacts) and half-ass blowdried my hair. I didn't even get to run a straightner or curling iron through it! Then as we were leaving the house, I couldn't find my house and car keys so I ran back upstairs only to realize they were in my bag already. Geez!
Anyhoo, here I am, lookin' so booty that I have to laugh! Oh well...at least it's Friday!
Dude, so I woke up 20 minutes late this morning because I didn't hear my sister leave (She's my cue to re-set the alarm clock from 6 am to 7:20 am). I couldn't shorten my shower cuz that's what wakes me up in the morning so by the time I get out of the shower to get ready, it's 7:55 and I still have to get dressed. So I throw on a t-shirt and jeans, then decide that I felt uncomfy, so I changed into overalls (yes Anna, because you had all the time in the world this morning!). I look at the clock again and it's 8:10 am and I still hadn't even started to fix my hair (I start work at 8:30 and it's 10 minutes away). So finally I say, SCREW IT! I put on my glasses (cuz I didn't have time to put on my contacts) and half-ass blowdried my hair. I didn't even get to run a straightner or curling iron through it! Then as we were leaving the house, I couldn't find my house and car keys so I ran back upstairs only to realize they were in my bag already. Geez!
Anyhoo, here I am, lookin' so booty that I have to laugh! Oh well...at least it's Friday!
I FEEL DIFFERENT...
I just do, and I couldn't explain it to everyone even if I tried. But something has been happening to me these last few weeks and it felt strange at first, but now it feels nice...it feels real...it feels like new. I sound crazy and cryptic, I know, but you'll all just have to trust me....
So in light of everything I've been blogging/talking about, I was cleaning out my emailbox and I came across this forward. It couldn't be more appropo than this:
Five simple rules to be happy
1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give more
5. Expect less
"No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. "
God didn't promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain.
But he did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps:
they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.
Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!!
"When you feel down because you didn't get what you want,
just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you."
I just do, and I couldn't explain it to everyone even if I tried. But something has been happening to me these last few weeks and it felt strange at first, but now it feels nice...it feels real...it feels like new. I sound crazy and cryptic, I know, but you'll all just have to trust me....
So in light of everything I've been blogging/talking about, I was cleaning out my emailbox and I came across this forward. It couldn't be more appropo than this:
Five simple rules to be happy
1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give more
5. Expect less
"No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. "
God didn't promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow,
sun without rain.
But he did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps:
they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.
Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!!
"When you feel down because you didn't get what you want,
just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you."
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
LIVE AND LEARN
I grew up thinking that making mistakes, of any kind, was unacceptable in life. Academically, I found it hard to strive for less than perfection. Socially, when it came to family and friends, I was very careful to be as compromising and likeable as I could. The problem with this illusory way of life is that when things became less than ideal, I scrambled for the next best thing to get me back on track: covering up what was really going on. I just couldn’t bear to think of something not working out the way I thought they should.
Slowly came adolescence, the mecca of mistake-making! From schoolwork that more often than before came back to me with less than perfect scores, to friends whose trust and loyalty were really masks for manipulation and betrayal, I began to truly see the imperfect world before me when I got to high school…and I freakin’ hated it!
There are a lot of experiences I wish I could have prevented; a lot of hastily-made decisions I wish I could take back. There are so many moments in my life that I wish didn’t affect me the way they did. Only lately (literally) have I been paying much attention to all the lessons I missed out on seeing before; living proverbs that, if I had been more observant, could have saved me a lot of grief thereafter. But embarrassment and hurt can sure dent a person’s pride, can’t they? I swear I’ve acted like life, for me, has been pre-destined for doom after a short series of unfortunate events left me on the erroneous side. "OH WOH IS ME!" I cried, "POOR ME!" Dumb! GET OVER YOURSELF WOMAN! Everything happens for a reason. I've acertained my conviction in this now more than ever. Even if the reason doesn't apparate as quickly as we expect it to, we have to believe that it will eventually...even if it takes years!
So what if it’s taken me 8 years to learn from ONE of my mistakes? At least I realize it now and have actually made a point to put the “fixing” into practice. Geez, Anna…so damn slow. It’s okay though, because, as the age-old saying goes, “Better late than never.”
"To maintain the ability to admit and grow from our mistakes rather than let them defeat us represents best the inner strength of a people."
Haki Madhubuti
"An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."
O. A. Battista
"Trying to grow up is hurting, you know. You make mistakes. You try to learn from them, and when you don't, it hurts even more."
Aretha Franklin
I grew up thinking that making mistakes, of any kind, was unacceptable in life. Academically, I found it hard to strive for less than perfection. Socially, when it came to family and friends, I was very careful to be as compromising and likeable as I could. The problem with this illusory way of life is that when things became less than ideal, I scrambled for the next best thing to get me back on track: covering up what was really going on. I just couldn’t bear to think of something not working out the way I thought they should.
Slowly came adolescence, the mecca of mistake-making! From schoolwork that more often than before came back to me with less than perfect scores, to friends whose trust and loyalty were really masks for manipulation and betrayal, I began to truly see the imperfect world before me when I got to high school…and I freakin’ hated it!
There are a lot of experiences I wish I could have prevented; a lot of hastily-made decisions I wish I could take back. There are so many moments in my life that I wish didn’t affect me the way they did. Only lately (literally) have I been paying much attention to all the lessons I missed out on seeing before; living proverbs that, if I had been more observant, could have saved me a lot of grief thereafter. But embarrassment and hurt can sure dent a person’s pride, can’t they? I swear I’ve acted like life, for me, has been pre-destined for doom after a short series of unfortunate events left me on the erroneous side. "OH WOH IS ME!" I cried, "POOR ME!" Dumb! GET OVER YOURSELF WOMAN! Everything happens for a reason. I've acertained my conviction in this now more than ever. Even if the reason doesn't apparate as quickly as we expect it to, we have to believe that it will eventually...even if it takes years!
So what if it’s taken me 8 years to learn from ONE of my mistakes? At least I realize it now and have actually made a point to put the “fixing” into practice. Geez, Anna…so damn slow. It’s okay though, because, as the age-old saying goes, “Better late than never.”
"To maintain the ability to admit and grow from our mistakes rather than let them defeat us represents best the inner strength of a people."
Haki Madhubuti
"An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."
O. A. Battista
"Trying to grow up is hurting, you know. You make mistakes. You try to learn from them, and when you don't, it hurts even more."
Aretha Franklin
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to:
Our Baby Girl, Miss Riann Grace Reyes! I'm so sorry we missed your excellent karaokeing!...well, I'm sorry we missed seeing you on your birthday, anyhow. ha ha ha...I hope you had a wonderful day!
...and to my good friend, Irene! It was so excellent seeing you again! Check out her profile...
Getting to know...
IRENE GUANO aka IREENIE
Vitals: Irene had been my friend's girlfriend for a few months when we were seniors in high school (Irene is a Holy Family alum), but we had never met her. One day she came to my high school to attend a friendship games meeting and there began it. I remember this so vividly. We knew she was gonna be there that day and we had seen her picture before. So as she was walking up the staircase from the parking lot that one day after school, Iya, Rochelle and Cile (who was there to represent Moneymount*ops I mean Marymount High School at the meeting) greeted her, "Hi! Are you Irene? IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU!" = 8 years and counting
Role In My Life: Miss Pretty, Dainty and Brainy - Irene was her elementary school's student body president, she was ASB VP when she was a senior in high school, she was valedictorian when she graduated, she's a UCLA alum and after 4 years at the UCSF School of Pharmacy, we can now call her Dr. Guano. All that AND she's nice and pretty, not to mention one of the most modest people you will ever meet.
Good Times: In June 2002, Iya, Irene and I drove up to Sacramento to meet up with Rochelle who had a pharmacy convention to attend. We spent Thursday night and the next morning in Sacramento, then spent the afternoon in Napa, enjoying the wonderful atmosphere provided by the Robert Mondavi Winery. We did some "wine tasting" there. Actually what we did was take mini sips of the wine and then chase it with like 4 crackers cuz we weren't accustomed to the taste. Wine connoisseurs we were not! And then that night we had dinner and watched DRUNK IYA in full effect at this club called Mission Rock.
In her own words: “I miss living in LA! San Francisco? I’m over it. It’s always so cold here! Even in the summer! I miss the warmth!”
Our Baby Girl, Miss Riann Grace Reyes! I'm so sorry we missed your excellent karaokeing!...well, I'm sorry we missed seeing you on your birthday, anyhow. ha ha ha...I hope you had a wonderful day!
...and to my good friend, Irene! It was so excellent seeing you again! Check out her profile...
Getting to know...
IRENE GUANO aka IREENIE
Vitals: Irene had been my friend's girlfriend for a few months when we were seniors in high school (Irene is a Holy Family alum), but we had never met her. One day she came to my high school to attend a friendship games meeting and there began it. I remember this so vividly. We knew she was gonna be there that day and we had seen her picture before. So as she was walking up the staircase from the parking lot that one day after school, Iya, Rochelle and Cile (who was there to represent Moneymount*ops I mean Marymount High School at the meeting) greeted her, "Hi! Are you Irene? IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU!" = 8 years and counting
Role In My Life: Miss Pretty, Dainty and Brainy - Irene was her elementary school's student body president, she was ASB VP when she was a senior in high school, she was valedictorian when she graduated, she's a UCLA alum and after 4 years at the UCSF School of Pharmacy, we can now call her Dr. Guano. All that AND she's nice and pretty, not to mention one of the most modest people you will ever meet.
Good Times: In June 2002, Iya, Irene and I drove up to Sacramento to meet up with Rochelle who had a pharmacy convention to attend. We spent Thursday night and the next morning in Sacramento, then spent the afternoon in Napa, enjoying the wonderful atmosphere provided by the Robert Mondavi Winery. We did some "wine tasting" there. Actually what we did was take mini sips of the wine and then chase it with like 4 crackers cuz we weren't accustomed to the taste. Wine connoisseurs we were not! And then that night we had dinner and watched DRUNK IYA in full effect at this club called Mission Rock.
In her own words: “I miss living in LA! San Francisco? I’m over it. It’s always so cold here! Even in the summer! I miss the warmth!”
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Friday, September 17, 2004
WORK, JOB, TRABAJO (Boss and supervisor are out today so you KNOW I'm gonna try my hardest to do NOTHING for the next 8 hours!)
I just finished reading Joemama's blog about hoping that a natural disaster wipes out the power if only for his office. Ha ha ha...I hear ya' homie! On Wednesday I was moving boxes around at work because we just had the carpet changed and my mom (who FYI works in the same place) was telling me to leave the lifting and moving to the guys in my office who do nothing. She was like, "You might break your back or injure your arm or something! And I responded with an enthusiastic, "So? What's the worse that could come of that? I don't go to work for a few weeks? MOM, THAT'S A GOOD THING!!
I've had 7 jobs in my lifetime and what I would give to go back to my first one. I was a 7th grader, hired by the 2nd grade teacher/volleyball coach, Sr. Angelica, to be a tutor for one of her students. I didn't know the first thing about being a tutor, but all I was asked to do was help little Carlos maximize his reading and math skills. And that I did 4 times a week for an hour each day. It was an easy $20 a week for me! I know it doesn't seem like much, but for a 13 year old whose greatest expense was eating at the mall with my friends every so often, $20 a week PLUS allowance from Mom & Dad was a big deal. I tutored again when I was in the 8th grade and this time I had "co-workers" in Randy and Iya who were tutoring 2 brothers in the same grade. Everyday, 4 days a week, us tutors and tutees would sit in the 3rd grade classroom and read, read, read, finding it hard not to mess around, especially with Jhoette there doing nothing but stand as our form of distraction. Randy, Iya and I always wondered if we did any good for those kids. You think, guys? HA HA HA...
Since then I've worked at:
*Universal Studios, my first "official" job the summer after high school graduation, complete with paychecks reduced by FICA and union fees (picture me at Jurassic Outfitters, in my peach button-down, with the Jurassic Park patch on the left pocket, cargo shorts or pants, and a red bandana around my neck). The biggest perk of this job was having friends there to share in the experience: Cile in her Back to the Future uniform, coming down to visit me during the busiest time of the day. She would lean on the counter while I'm working the register, caught in the influx of soaking wet guests who had just gotten off the ride, and ask if I'm busy. Ha ha ha...and then Markie, the acclaimed fastest frozen lemonade scooper in the park, stole a Jurassic uniform shirt (blue button-down with the patch on the left pocket)...and there's little Rochelle Bobbers, who burned herself a few times working at the Commissary serving hot food. She also had to work that big ice box of drinks called the "trough" after the Waterworld show let out. Ask us to do an impression of her experience when you see us...And we can't forget "Chill, this is Eric" who worked at the Caribbean Chill serving frozen yogurt and smoothies. I think he spent more time macking on the workers than making drinks...and then Ryan-damn-why-are-these-pants-so-tight Palos, who worked at the Studio Grill, the employee cafeteria. He used to charge us for a muffin, even with the full meal we had on the tray. I worked there a scattered number of times after that, leaving completely after a stint at Totally Nickelodeon. Good times...
*"Kinko's in Irvine, how may I direct your call?" This is where I learned how to count change backwards, not to mention how to use a copier and fax machine properly. Hee hee hee...Terry and Jason (Lusty Lustina) were two of the floor leads. There was this one chick named, Kim (remember Ter?) who we caught a few times standing glass-eyed in the cards section. Ha ha ha...did she do ANY work?
*UCI Bookstore: I did customer service for a few months, but when my schedule didn't allow 4 hour slot (which is the least amount of hours for one shift), Annie got me a job with the general books department where I met my favorite boss/supervisors ever! Not to mention, it was, by far, the easiest and most accommodating job that I ever had. When I had to shelve books, I often had someone walking around talking to me. If it wasn't Annie shelving books WITH me, it was Andrew killing time before his next class. And then during times I had to enter new items into the inventory system, I would either be in a chatroom with Randy and Iya (do you guys remember that?) or be talking to Leia as she ate her lunch next to our desk. If I knew *NSYNC was gonna be on TRL one afternoon, Matt & Nikki (my bosses) would let me leave early if it wasn't busy. Ha ha ha...
*DC Chamber of Commerce: I learned THE MOST at this internship, which only lasted 3 months. Who knew little ol' me could survive such a "commute?" ha ha ha...Although I missed my family and friends, and the lovely California weather, I welcomed the new friends and co-workers I was fortunate enough to have met and embraced the ideal autumn that the east coast had to offer. Riding the metro every morning and evening was icing on the cake. I never felt so Felicity! Sometimes I still can't believe I ever lived and worked there. I keep saying I'm gonna go back. I won't deny it's always been the other side of the coin for me since I left, but I haven't been ready to flip it just yet.
And now here I am, blogging at my relatively new job. Dangit! Why do all my entries always end up so long?! The point I was GONNA make was that I used to look forward to paydays. But ever since my stack of financial obligations grew each year since 2000, paydays don't mean jack to me anymore. I love how I have all that money in my account for like, 2 days and then after I write those damn checks, I'm reduced to some absurd balance, like $38.56 to last me for another 15 days. Booo...The job hunt continues! Anyone care to join?
I just finished reading Joemama's blog about hoping that a natural disaster wipes out the power if only for his office. Ha ha ha...I hear ya' homie! On Wednesday I was moving boxes around at work because we just had the carpet changed and my mom (who FYI works in the same place) was telling me to leave the lifting and moving to the guys in my office who do nothing. She was like, "You might break your back or injure your arm or something! And I responded with an enthusiastic, "So? What's the worse that could come of that? I don't go to work for a few weeks? MOM, THAT'S A GOOD THING!!
I've had 7 jobs in my lifetime and what I would give to go back to my first one. I was a 7th grader, hired by the 2nd grade teacher/volleyball coach, Sr. Angelica, to be a tutor for one of her students. I didn't know the first thing about being a tutor, but all I was asked to do was help little Carlos maximize his reading and math skills. And that I did 4 times a week for an hour each day. It was an easy $20 a week for me! I know it doesn't seem like much, but for a 13 year old whose greatest expense was eating at the mall with my friends every so often, $20 a week PLUS allowance from Mom & Dad was a big deal. I tutored again when I was in the 8th grade and this time I had "co-workers" in Randy and Iya who were tutoring 2 brothers in the same grade. Everyday, 4 days a week, us tutors and tutees would sit in the 3rd grade classroom and read, read, read, finding it hard not to mess around, especially with Jhoette there doing nothing but stand as our form of distraction. Randy, Iya and I always wondered if we did any good for those kids. You think, guys? HA HA HA...
Since then I've worked at:
*Universal Studios, my first "official" job the summer after high school graduation, complete with paychecks reduced by FICA and union fees (picture me at Jurassic Outfitters, in my peach button-down, with the Jurassic Park patch on the left pocket, cargo shorts or pants, and a red bandana around my neck). The biggest perk of this job was having friends there to share in the experience: Cile in her Back to the Future uniform, coming down to visit me during the busiest time of the day. She would lean on the counter while I'm working the register, caught in the influx of soaking wet guests who had just gotten off the ride, and ask if I'm busy. Ha ha ha...and then Markie, the acclaimed fastest frozen lemonade scooper in the park, stole a Jurassic uniform shirt (blue button-down with the patch on the left pocket)...and there's little Rochelle Bobbers, who burned herself a few times working at the Commissary serving hot food. She also had to work that big ice box of drinks called the "trough" after the Waterworld show let out. Ask us to do an impression of her experience when you see us...And we can't forget "Chill, this is Eric" who worked at the Caribbean Chill serving frozen yogurt and smoothies. I think he spent more time macking on the workers than making drinks...and then Ryan-damn-why-are-these-pants-so-tight Palos, who worked at the Studio Grill, the employee cafeteria. He used to charge us for a muffin, even with the full meal we had on the tray. I worked there a scattered number of times after that, leaving completely after a stint at Totally Nickelodeon. Good times...
*"Kinko's in Irvine, how may I direct your call?" This is where I learned how to count change backwards, not to mention how to use a copier and fax machine properly. Hee hee hee...Terry and Jason (Lusty Lustina) were two of the floor leads. There was this one chick named, Kim (remember Ter?) who we caught a few times standing glass-eyed in the cards section. Ha ha ha...did she do ANY work?
*UCI Bookstore: I did customer service for a few months, but when my schedule didn't allow 4 hour slot (which is the least amount of hours for one shift), Annie got me a job with the general books department where I met my favorite boss/supervisors ever! Not to mention, it was, by far, the easiest and most accommodating job that I ever had. When I had to shelve books, I often had someone walking around talking to me. If it wasn't Annie shelving books WITH me, it was Andrew killing time before his next class. And then during times I had to enter new items into the inventory system, I would either be in a chatroom with Randy and Iya (do you guys remember that?) or be talking to Leia as she ate her lunch next to our desk. If I knew *NSYNC was gonna be on TRL one afternoon, Matt & Nikki (my bosses) would let me leave early if it wasn't busy. Ha ha ha...
*DC Chamber of Commerce: I learned THE MOST at this internship, which only lasted 3 months. Who knew little ol' me could survive such a "commute?" ha ha ha...Although I missed my family and friends, and the lovely California weather, I welcomed the new friends and co-workers I was fortunate enough to have met and embraced the ideal autumn that the east coast had to offer. Riding the metro every morning and evening was icing on the cake. I never felt so Felicity! Sometimes I still can't believe I ever lived and worked there. I keep saying I'm gonna go back. I won't deny it's always been the other side of the coin for me since I left, but I haven't been ready to flip it just yet.
And now here I am, blogging at my relatively new job. Dangit! Why do all my entries always end up so long?! The point I was GONNA make was that I used to look forward to paydays. But ever since my stack of financial obligations grew each year since 2000, paydays don't mean jack to me anymore. I love how I have all that money in my account for like, 2 days and then after I write those damn checks, I'm reduced to some absurd balance, like $38.56 to last me for another 15 days. Booo...The job hunt continues! Anyone care to join?
Thursday, September 16, 2004
LOVE AND FEAR
“All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by one of two emotions – fear or love…
Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms.
Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked.
Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away.
Fear holds close, loves holds dear.
Fear grasps, love lets go.
Fear rankles, love soothes.
Fear attacks, love mends. Every human thought, word, or deed is based in one emotion or the other. You have no choice about this, because there is nothing else from which to choose. But you have free choice about which of these to select.” – Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch
“All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by one of two emotions – fear or love…
Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms.
Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals.
Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked.
Fear clings to and clutches all that we have, love gives all that we have away.
Fear holds close, loves holds dear.
Fear grasps, love lets go.
Fear rankles, love soothes.
Fear attacks, love mends. Every human thought, word, or deed is based in one emotion or the other. You have no choice about this, because there is nothing else from which to choose. But you have free choice about which of these to select.” – Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch
Monday, September 13, 2004
Getting to know...
Aimee Lourdes M. Arellano aka Aimee
Vitals: Aimee's parents are my ninong and ninang. I was a flower girl at their wedding, which means that we've been cousins since she was born = 22 years and counting.
Role in My Life: Hella Hyper Cousin - Aimee lives in Daly City and literally every other word out of her mouth is "hella." She uses it to describe EVERYTHING and she does it in the happiest, most hyper voice. You think you get confused cuz I talk too fast! When Aimee's talking, you lose track of what's coming out of her mouth cuz you'll be distracted by how hyper she is.
Good Times: When I was a junior at UCI (and Aimee was a junior in high school), she spent the night at my apartment and the next day I took her to all my classes, showed her around campus, took her to lunch at Islands and then took her to a kaba meeting.
In her own words: "Oh my gosh, this is, like, tighter than the tightest!" - Aimee opinion of Niagara Falls
Aimee Lourdes M. Arellano aka Aimee
Vitals: Aimee's parents are my ninong and ninang. I was a flower girl at their wedding, which means that we've been cousins since she was born = 22 years and counting.
Role in My Life: Hella Hyper Cousin - Aimee lives in Daly City and literally every other word out of her mouth is "hella." She uses it to describe EVERYTHING and she does it in the happiest, most hyper voice. You think you get confused cuz I talk too fast! When Aimee's talking, you lose track of what's coming out of her mouth cuz you'll be distracted by how hyper she is.
Good Times: When I was a junior at UCI (and Aimee was a junior in high school), she spent the night at my apartment and the next day I took her to all my classes, showed her around campus, took her to lunch at Islands and then took her to a kaba meeting.
In her own words: "Oh my gosh, this is, like, tighter than the tightest!" - Aimee opinion of Niagara Falls
Sunday, September 12, 2004
PARTY ALL THE TIME
That’s what this weekend felt like! But I, along with some of you who were with me, felt kinda different partying this time, no? I remember high school house parties, complete with a DJ and that special area of the house designated for dancing. Usually there were adults present on the premises but none forced their jurisdiction on the kids having fun. Typically the parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents were watching tv or playing mahjong. I remember how cool we felt being at those parties, dancing away until the DJ’s cleaned up their equipment, and then sitting there recounting evening’s events; who scammed with whom, who started a fight, the crush we got to dance with for 5 minutes, etc. It was definitely the beginning of things to come.
And then those college house parties, when word-of-mouth was the most efficient form of invitation, when the floors were covered with cardboard, alcohol reigned the kitchen counters and noise complaints were signaled by a knock on the door by the local police. Everyone came and went in groups and the time of arrival was set so that you weren’t the first ones there, nor the last ones to come right when the party was broken up. If you weren’t dancing, you were sitting by the staircase or the couch, with a drink in hand, talking to anyone who would talk to you.
Post college parties have been just as fun, if not more. Can’t NOT have fun when you’re with great company. But this weekend a lot of us discovered that the meaning of partying has changed just a tad with age. On Friday night we went to Gotham Hall (again…gosh we love that place!) to celebrate a friend’s birthday (Belated Happy Birthday Kay!). A few of us got there at 10:30 and then everyone rolled in shortly after that. The DJ had been spinning for awhile when we got there but of course no one wants to start the dancing, plus there weren’t as many people there yet. After a few drinks, we were like, “screw it we’ll start it.” So aside from 5 other people on the dance floor, a bunch of us (I’m gonna say 8-10 people) went and danced like we were the only ones there, which we kinda were. After about 20 minutes, we left the dance floor and never returned. Instead, we opted to sit in a booth in probably the relatively quietest part of the club and talk…for the rest of the evening. Discussion topics included: how to receive communion properly; how much of the wine is proper to drink at mass; being color blind; how to body roll the right way…or the wrong way; high school memories (some girl owes Joe $45 man!) and more. I can’t believe we sat in a club for 2 ½ hours and did more talking than we did dancing…there was drinking too, I forgot to mention but I know that should’ve been obvious. Just ask Cile. I accompanied her to the ladies restroom 4 times. He he he…then 11 of us proceeded to Norm’s, first, and then Denny’s for a late late dinner. Great times!
On Saturday night we headed to Club AD for Stacy’s birthday. Nice place. Iya says Justin parties there! It’s quite spacious and there’s lots of seats for people to sit and that we did for the first hour! The music they were playing was excellent, but some of us couldn’t pull ourselves away from conversation so we didn’t even start dancing until much later. It was like a high school/elementary school reunion for a lot of us. It was crazy seeing some of the people that we did! By the time we got to the dancefloor, the music had taken a turn for…well, it just wasn’t that great so we were semi-dancing by the wall and the staircase. I got to bag on SOME people (like this girl who was dancing super fast to this reggae-type song. Slow down girl! It’s just Wayne Wonder) but not many. My partner in crap-talking, Leia, was absent. And then we ate at Sinamluang (this Thai place on Hollywood that’s open until 6 am) for a late dinner. FUN FUN FUN WEEKEND! I really needed it. Thanks for sharing in the festivities everyone! Thanks mucho much to the OC peeps who braved the 50 miles to party with us, especially Joemama who drove up here twice (again!). Ya’ll should invest in an LA apartment soon! Have an excellent week kids!
That’s what this weekend felt like! But I, along with some of you who were with me, felt kinda different partying this time, no? I remember high school house parties, complete with a DJ and that special area of the house designated for dancing. Usually there were adults present on the premises but none forced their jurisdiction on the kids having fun. Typically the parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents were watching tv or playing mahjong. I remember how cool we felt being at those parties, dancing away until the DJ’s cleaned up their equipment, and then sitting there recounting evening’s events; who scammed with whom, who started a fight, the crush we got to dance with for 5 minutes, etc. It was definitely the beginning of things to come.
And then those college house parties, when word-of-mouth was the most efficient form of invitation, when the floors were covered with cardboard, alcohol reigned the kitchen counters and noise complaints were signaled by a knock on the door by the local police. Everyone came and went in groups and the time of arrival was set so that you weren’t the first ones there, nor the last ones to come right when the party was broken up. If you weren’t dancing, you were sitting by the staircase or the couch, with a drink in hand, talking to anyone who would talk to you.
Post college parties have been just as fun, if not more. Can’t NOT have fun when you’re with great company. But this weekend a lot of us discovered that the meaning of partying has changed just a tad with age. On Friday night we went to Gotham Hall (again…gosh we love that place!) to celebrate a friend’s birthday (Belated Happy Birthday Kay!). A few of us got there at 10:30 and then everyone rolled in shortly after that. The DJ had been spinning for awhile when we got there but of course no one wants to start the dancing, plus there weren’t as many people there yet. After a few drinks, we were like, “screw it we’ll start it.” So aside from 5 other people on the dance floor, a bunch of us (I’m gonna say 8-10 people) went and danced like we were the only ones there, which we kinda were. After about 20 minutes, we left the dance floor and never returned. Instead, we opted to sit in a booth in probably the relatively quietest part of the club and talk…for the rest of the evening. Discussion topics included: how to receive communion properly; how much of the wine is proper to drink at mass; being color blind; how to body roll the right way…or the wrong way; high school memories (some girl owes Joe $45 man!) and more. I can’t believe we sat in a club for 2 ½ hours and did more talking than we did dancing…there was drinking too, I forgot to mention but I know that should’ve been obvious. Just ask Cile. I accompanied her to the ladies restroom 4 times. He he he…then 11 of us proceeded to Norm’s, first, and then Denny’s for a late late dinner. Great times!
On Saturday night we headed to Club AD for Stacy’s birthday. Nice place. Iya says Justin parties there! It’s quite spacious and there’s lots of seats for people to sit and that we did for the first hour! The music they were playing was excellent, but some of us couldn’t pull ourselves away from conversation so we didn’t even start dancing until much later. It was like a high school/elementary school reunion for a lot of us. It was crazy seeing some of the people that we did! By the time we got to the dancefloor, the music had taken a turn for…well, it just wasn’t that great so we were semi-dancing by the wall and the staircase. I got to bag on SOME people (like this girl who was dancing super fast to this reggae-type song. Slow down girl! It’s just Wayne Wonder) but not many. My partner in crap-talking, Leia, was absent. And then we ate at Sinamluang (this Thai place on Hollywood that’s open until 6 am) for a late dinner. FUN FUN FUN WEEKEND! I really needed it. Thanks for sharing in the festivities everyone! Thanks mucho much to the OC peeps who braved the 50 miles to party with us, especially Joemama who drove up here twice (again!). Ya’ll should invest in an LA apartment soon! Have an excellent week kids!
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
RE-EVALUATION
I had such an awesome time up north (Daly City to be exact) with my aunts, uncles and cousins! But not only did I get to spend time with my family, I also chanced upon an opportunity to do lots of thinking about my life: family, friends, career, love. And I know I think about these things often enough, but it’s always been just that…thinking.
I read the first 25 pages of CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD this weekend, and I would love to tell you about how this has changed my life so far, but I won’t because that’s exactly what I would’ve done before this weekend. Let me start over…I realized a lot of things about myself this weekend that I chose not to realize before. I’ve undergone quite a few (actually a lot) of highs and lows (lots of lows) in my life in the last few years, and I’ve spent a great deal of time wondering why I feel the way I feel about myself and about the people in my life. I think I’ve managed to push a lot of people away without knowing it. A light bulb just went on in my head like half an hour ago! It’s because I’ve lost the ability to be honest, with everything and everyone, including and especially MYSELF. I used to think that I was as honest and as open as anyone could be. But I guess when you start thinking that about yourself, the opposite is probably true.
I just had a really helpful conversation with a really great friend tonight. I felt like, for the first time in a long while, everything I was saying to her was coming from my heart. I wasn’t talking to impress or to say what I thought she wanted to hear. I was just being honest, and that made all the difference. Not every word we exchanged was easy for me to say or hear. In fact, some of it hurt a little, but that was the best part about it. It showed me that I can be a grown-up about things enough to face them. This was the first time in a long time and I know it won't be the last. I’ve blogged so much about facing adversity and how it makes you a better person, and here I couldn’t do it myself! Hypocrisy at its finest I tell you!
I live great part of my life in illusions, you see. There are certain situations and relationships that I hold very dear; so dear that I want them to stay the same forever (how psycho). And this, I know now, has been my demise. Has anyone ever read that poem Nothing Gold Can Stay, by Robert Frost? If you haven’t, have a read:
NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY
By Robert Frost
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
I want relationships and aspects of my life that have been so great for me in the past or present to be as wonderful as long as I live. When this is broken somehow, I psyche myself into thinking it’s not and live on in that fantasy which causes more harm than help. “Nothing gold can stay” : it’s a reality check that those most precious to us at one point, will not be precious in the same way forever and we have to know how to deal WITH IT and not AGAINST IT. I always knew this, somewhere in the back of my head, but for some reason thought I was exempt from it. Day one began today…
Friday, September 03, 2004
ANGER, BITTERNESS and PRIDE
…aaaaahh, some of my favorite emotions…but also three of the most self-destructive. Is it safe to say we've all felt these things at one time or another? I know I have, more than I’d like to admit. Whether you feel these things towards a family member, your closest friends, your co-worker, your boyfriend/girlfriend (or EX boyfriend/girlfriend) who you feel has done you wrong, the outcome can all end in the same aggravation. It’s not bad to feel these things, as I’ve learned. In fact, I’ve been taught that it’s actually healthy to recognize one’s anger and bitterness in a situation if only to “get it outta of your system.” It’s the length of time we hang on to those emotions and the amount of energy we expend acting on them that’s the problem.
So why talk about this? Because I just saw this movie called “IN LOVE AND WAR,” with Chris O'Donnell and Sandra Bullock. The film itself isn’t the best that Hollywood has had to offer, and it’s based on the life of a prominent but age old author. However, the message it sends out surely stands the test of time. The movie, in my opinion, is about the effects of clinging on to what feels most secure to us when we feel we’ve been deceived: our anger, our bitterness, our pride.
The movie (if you don’t want me to kill it for you, then stop reading), based on Ernest Hemingway’s own experiences, tells of the famous writer's life during World War II. Ernie, as he was more commonly called, was a reporter who’d hoped to get as close to the “action” as possible so he got a job working for the Red Cross in Italy as, not a soldier, but an ambulance driver. After being wounded during a visit to one of the trenches, he ended up in the hospital where he met and fell in love with, a nurse, Agnes. Apprehensive about showing her true feelings for him because of their 7 year age difference (Agnes was 26 and Ernie was 19), she waited until the night before Ernie had to return to the states to show him just how much she cared for him. He vowed that they should write to each other often and would marry upon Agnes’ return to the states. The next morning, as his train was leaving, he yelled out to Agnes, "Tell me you love me!" And she said it, but in a whisper that only she could have heard.
Time went on and one of the Italian doctors who worked with the nurses at the Red Cross fell in love with Agnes, asked her to marry him and help him establish a new hospital in Italy. Torn between her love for the man waiting for her an ocean away and the opportunity that staying in Italy would bring, she decided to do what she thought was best. She wrote Ernie and told him that she didn't want to keep him from living his life only to wait for her. He was devastated and used his writing to keep him afloat. After about 8 months, Agnes came to NY to have lunch with Harry, a mutual friend of hers and Ernie’s who worked with them in Italy. Knowing of his friends’ woes, he asked Agnes, "do you love him?" and she said “yes.” Then he asked, "Have you ever told him?" and she answered, "yes, but he didn't hear me."
So Agnes goes to visit Ernie and, rightfully so, he's too proud and hurt to be nice to her. When she tells him that she loves him and would her whole life, he let his anger and bitterness let her walk away and they never saw each other again…I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING FOR SOME REASON!
Anyhow, I don’t know much about this renowned author, but his unfortunate experience is, sadly, all too familiar. I learned 2 things from this movie: #1 - Can't let anger and bitterness eat you up inside so much that there's no part of your heart left to love again #2 - Regret is a terrible thing. It can stay with you forever unless you do something about it (I'm WONDERFUL at regret. Just ask me about it)....That's all folks! Sorry for the long ass entry. But I've been wanting to write about this since Wednesday. I'm spending the weekend up north with my family so everyone have an excellent long weekend!!!
…aaaaahh, some of my favorite emotions…but also three of the most self-destructive. Is it safe to say we've all felt these things at one time or another? I know I have, more than I’d like to admit. Whether you feel these things towards a family member, your closest friends, your co-worker, your boyfriend/girlfriend (or EX boyfriend/girlfriend) who you feel has done you wrong, the outcome can all end in the same aggravation. It’s not bad to feel these things, as I’ve learned. In fact, I’ve been taught that it’s actually healthy to recognize one’s anger and bitterness in a situation if only to “get it outta of your system.” It’s the length of time we hang on to those emotions and the amount of energy we expend acting on them that’s the problem.
So why talk about this? Because I just saw this movie called “IN LOVE AND WAR,” with Chris O'Donnell and Sandra Bullock. The film itself isn’t the best that Hollywood has had to offer, and it’s based on the life of a prominent but age old author. However, the message it sends out surely stands the test of time. The movie, in my opinion, is about the effects of clinging on to what feels most secure to us when we feel we’ve been deceived: our anger, our bitterness, our pride.
The movie (if you don’t want me to kill it for you, then stop reading), based on Ernest Hemingway’s own experiences, tells of the famous writer's life during World War II. Ernie, as he was more commonly called, was a reporter who’d hoped to get as close to the “action” as possible so he got a job working for the Red Cross in Italy as, not a soldier, but an ambulance driver. After being wounded during a visit to one of the trenches, he ended up in the hospital where he met and fell in love with, a nurse, Agnes. Apprehensive about showing her true feelings for him because of their 7 year age difference (Agnes was 26 and Ernie was 19), she waited until the night before Ernie had to return to the states to show him just how much she cared for him. He vowed that they should write to each other often and would marry upon Agnes’ return to the states. The next morning, as his train was leaving, he yelled out to Agnes, "Tell me you love me!" And she said it, but in a whisper that only she could have heard.
Time went on and one of the Italian doctors who worked with the nurses at the Red Cross fell in love with Agnes, asked her to marry him and help him establish a new hospital in Italy. Torn between her love for the man waiting for her an ocean away and the opportunity that staying in Italy would bring, she decided to do what she thought was best. She wrote Ernie and told him that she didn't want to keep him from living his life only to wait for her. He was devastated and used his writing to keep him afloat. After about 8 months, Agnes came to NY to have lunch with Harry, a mutual friend of hers and Ernie’s who worked with them in Italy. Knowing of his friends’ woes, he asked Agnes, "do you love him?" and she said “yes.” Then he asked, "Have you ever told him?" and she answered, "yes, but he didn't hear me."
So Agnes goes to visit Ernie and, rightfully so, he's too proud and hurt to be nice to her. When she tells him that she loves him and would her whole life, he let his anger and bitterness let her walk away and they never saw each other again…I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING FOR SOME REASON!
Anyhow, I don’t know much about this renowned author, but his unfortunate experience is, sadly, all too familiar. I learned 2 things from this movie: #1 - Can't let anger and bitterness eat you up inside so much that there's no part of your heart left to love again #2 - Regret is a terrible thing. It can stay with you forever unless you do something about it (I'm WONDERFUL at regret. Just ask me about it)....That's all folks! Sorry for the long ass entry. But I've been wanting to write about this since Wednesday. I'm spending the weekend up north with my family so everyone have an excellent long weekend!!!
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