reparation [rep-uh-rey-shuhn]
restoration to good condition; the making of amends for wrong or injury done
Synonyms include: amends, atonement, recompense
I've been portraying another person these past 4 days; one who is impatient, ill-tempered, insensitive, confounded and damn near apathetic. I've allowed myself to become bothered and doubtful and, in short, everything I know inside that I'm not. Though I expect monthly "malfunctions" to my system, there are those rare times when periodic mini purges just won't do. For these occasional breakdowns, a complete system overhaul is the only fix.
I hate doing that. First of all, it takes too long. Second of all, it's way more labor intensive and often takes more brain power than I'd prefer to expend. Me? An attitude adjustment? Judging by the amount of steam I've released these past few days, I honestly can't think of a better candidate for one. I just wish I could distinguish what parts of myself are in mint condition, which parts are just in need of cleaning and adjusting, and which parts are completely defective or overused and therefore need replacement. Aaaah, the next road to self-discovery is upon me and I've still got my head under the hood!
No matter, because I don't know where I'm going and how I'm getting there anyway. For once, I'm allowing myself to feel lost, enjoy staring blankly at the map filled with lines of every color and pointed in every direction. Right now it doesn't matter where I go and how I get there. Right now it just matters to me that I get somewhere, which I know I will because I deserve that.
*Mark, hope this makes up for your days of lost vocabulary! hahaha!
restoration to good condition; the making of amends for wrong or injury done
Synonyms include: amends, atonement, recompense
I've been portraying another person these past 4 days; one who is impatient, ill-tempered, insensitive, confounded and damn near apathetic. I've allowed myself to become bothered and doubtful and, in short, everything I know inside that I'm not. Though I expect monthly "malfunctions" to my system, there are those rare times when periodic mini purges just won't do. For these occasional breakdowns, a complete system overhaul is the only fix.
I hate doing that. First of all, it takes too long. Second of all, it's way more labor intensive and often takes more brain power than I'd prefer to expend. Me? An attitude adjustment? Judging by the amount of steam I've released these past few days, I honestly can't think of a better candidate for one. I just wish I could distinguish what parts of myself are in mint condition, which parts are just in need of cleaning and adjusting, and which parts are completely defective or overused and therefore need replacement. Aaaah, the next road to self-discovery is upon me and I've still got my head under the hood!
No matter, because I don't know where I'm going and how I'm getting there anyway. For once, I'm allowing myself to feel lost, enjoy staring blankly at the map filled with lines of every color and pointed in every direction. Right now it doesn't matter where I go and how I get there. Right now it just matters to me that I get somewhere, which I know I will because I deserve that.
*Mark, hope this makes up for your days of lost vocabulary! hahaha!
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