grace [greys]
In Theology:the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God; the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them; a virtue or excellence of divine origin
Synonyms include: blessing, clemency, forgiveness, mercy, elegance, beauty

There's a great book by Neale Donald Walsch called Conversations With God. The title isn't a metaphor for anything because the book is literally written in back and forth conversation form. When I first read it, I admit that it was for curiosity's sake. When I was done though, I started to pray differently.

There are so many forms of prayer: singing, chanting, meditating, walking, reading, etc. But it wasn't until I read the aforementioned book did I realized that prayer, in its truest form, isn't me talking AT the Lord. It's us talking to EACH OTHER.

I've had many conversations with God. Sometimes it's my mental venting in silence, when I suddenly feel a warmth of calmness and comfort after. Sometimes it's me leaping up and down inside, followed by a radiant feeling. And then there are those rare moments when I am at the very peak of confusion, sorrow and/or despair and I find myself listening to a real voice in my head.

I had a conversation with God 2 weeks ago when I was driving home from work. I rather screamed a question out loud and to my surprise, got more than I ever expected back. It wasn't a voice figmented by my imagination. It was the sound of someone speaking. And I did what I always do when I can feel a presence (as corny as this may sound) in my heart...I cried. Not so much of sadness, but of relief.

"I could have happiness, if I choose to have it now."
~ Jim Carrey

Happy 30th Birthday,

Pat!!!

remember [ri-mem-ber]

to retain in the memory; keep in mind; remain aware of; to have (something) come into the mind again

Synonyms include: recall, cite, recollect

Speaking of celebrating life...This morning we found out that my Lola Turing had died in the Philippines. My grandfather (mom's dad) passed away in 2003 and with his death left Lola Turs the last living sibling. She was 2 years older than Papang.

I got to spend some time with her when I went home to the Philippines back in 2001. Lola reflected on the last time she saw me (I was 4 years old, 1982) and I listened to her recount details that, though I couldn't remember so clearly myself, somehow conjured up images in my head which I knew in my heart were real memories. She owned a shop in our town of Cavite City and mom took me there often when I was little to put on a show for Lola and her customers. I have pictures of myself standing on the store's counters entertaining everyone who came in. I thought I'd get to see her at least one more time but God had other plans. My grandfather and all their siblings (there were 10 of them!) must be happy to be reunited.

Please keep my Lola's soul in your prayers...

celebrate [sel-uh-breyt]

to observe (a day) or commemorate (an event) with ceremonies or festivities

Synonyms include: bless, exalt, commend

I'd been wondering since last year how I was going to spend my 30th birthday. I knew I didn't want to spend it driving for 2 hours so I requested a day off and what a great decision that was. Instead of sitting on the 101 at 7 am, typing away for 8 hours, then sitting again on the 101, I opted to start my 30th birthday morning at Burke Williams spa in Pasadena. And what luck, I didn't have to celebrate alone because Jovi thought she'd party with me too. =)...eh, she just wanted an excuse to ditch work. hahaha!

So we both spent the morning at the spa, getting our deep tissue massages and taking advantage of facility amenities like the sauna, steam room, mist room, showers and all the citrus water we wanted! We followed our morning of pampering with lunch at Cheesecake Factory and walked it all (well, most of it) off as we strolled up and down Colorado Blvd shops. HOW FUN!! Thanks, Joves!

After a wonderful day in Pasadena, I went to mass with mom and Riann. I couldn't let the day pass without thanking God for letting me reach this milestone! For dinner my family and I had some chinese food at a local restaurant because, what better way to celebrate than with some pan fried noodles, walnut shrimp and mongolian beef?! Chocolate cake at the house followed! MY FAVORITE!
The next day I got to sleep in a bit because I had another appointment with Dr. Addiego (my podiatrist. Tendonitis is almost all gone!). The drive to work was quick as it was 10:30 by the time I left Glendale and when I got to the office, I walked into this:
My co-workers took advantage of my day off and completely covered my cubicle in signature Laker purple and gold! I guess seeing me reading the sports section of the L.A. Times every morning in the kitchen and possibly catching me on ESPN.com when I should be on excel helped them out with a theme for decor. =)
I was cracking up all the day. Pictures of all the players were taped and tacked all over my cubicle wall and they even managed to change my desktop wall paper into the Lakers' February game calendar.

What a wonderful birthday I had! Thank you everyone for all the textes, calls, voicemails, emails, messages, IMs, hugs and gifts!!! This is one blessed 30 year old!!!

LOVE IS ENOUGH

Love is enough: though the world be a-waning,
And the woods have no voice but the voice of complaining,
Though the skies be too dark for dim eyes to discover
The gold-cups and daisies fair blooming thereunder,
Though the hills be held shadows, and the sea a dark wonder,
And this day draw a veil over all deeds passed over,
Yet their hands shall not tremble, their feet shall not falter:
The void shall not weary, the fear shall not alter
These lips and these eyes of the loved and the lover.

~ William Morris (1834-96)

evolution [ev-uh-loo-shuhn]
any process of formation or growth; A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form
Synonyms include: change, development, growth

I've begged for time to take me back

To life when days were simple and free

When, as a child, I awoke each day

And knew the world would wait on me

I've asked for time to take me back

To life when stress did not exist

When success and victory

Were things that I could not resist

I've prayed for time to take me back

To life when days were spent in thought

When dreams were plans and not just hopes

And heartfelt efforts were not for naught

I know that time won't take me back

To life before what it is now

As I'm eager to handle what lies ahead

And pray that God will show me how.

~A.L.B.G.

protocol [proh-tuh-kawl]

the customs and regulations dealing with diplomatic formality, precedence, and etiquette; code of correct conduct

Synonyms include: code, conduct, formality

When you've done something enough times, you eventually develop a cadence, a system, a plan of action to maximize your time and efforts. Something a lot of us have done is spend a weekend in Vegas. This past Friday-Saturday, a bunch of us did just that. Where else to better celebrate my and James' 30th birthdays than in the city that LITERALLY never sleeps...

In order to have a great time in Sin City, however, there are a few "rules" that we have come to appreciate and abide by:

1) Be prepared - Check the temperature in Vegas and pack accordingly: right clothes for the right weather, enough cash to get you by for the weekend and maybe, if you're lucky, you could get an entire can of Febreeze through security for later use in the hotel. Cile did!

2) Get excited at the sight of the Vegas skyline - Whether you drive or fly there, you know that seeing the Stratosphere from far away tells you that you're near.

3) Not all games involve sitting at a felt-topped table (unless you're Bev, Ja or James) or pulling down a lever hoping to align a trio of diamonds. If gambling's not your thing, try your hand at some carnival games. The prizes speak for themselves, don't they?

4) Live it up! - If there's a club in your hotel that will let you in for free and it's 3:30 am by the time you find out, hurry up, get dressed and bounce! It's Vegas baby!!
5) When partying, always look sharp - Leave the cotton knit shirts and blouses at home.Thankfully, I have no ugly friends so this is never an issue =)
If you can, see if the place you want to party is playing the music you want to dance to. Hmmm, see where DJ Vice is spinning and go there...

6) If you're planning an evening of drinking and dancing, I have 2 words for you: bottle service.Because, would you rather be in the middle of THIS? ...or above it? Rule #6, if you're partying with 10 people or more, do bottle service. You'll thank yourselves when you get home that night and your shirt or dress is stain-free from the drunk jerks and chicks spilling all over the place.

7) Dance with your hands in the air...
8) Bring photographers. They'll make you feel like freakin' Justin Timberlake - those flashin' lights come from everywhere...

9) Watch how much you have of this:

...or you'll end up like this:

?) No Vegas Rule here. This picture of James and Larnie just crack us up. hahaha!

10) In all seriousness, the most important rule when you go to Vegas? Party it up and have a good time! That age old saying is completely true: You're only as old as you feel, and right now, we're not ready to hang up our party hats just yet. 30 years old? We JUST got started...

Thanks everyone for celebrating mine and James' 30th birthdays this weekend!!! GOOD TIMES!!!

(And for those of you who chipped in, thanks soooooo much for my plane ticket!! Love you guys!!)

Happy 21st Birthday,

Kashi!!!

My co-workers are so funny! Today is my 2-year anniversary at SAGE and Barbara baked chocolate chip cookies and our executive secretary, Diana, got me a balloon and a pot of hyacinth. How freakin' sweet! I'm so touched. Gosh, I'm so blessed.

Talk about making my day...

blur [blur]

a blurred condition; indistinctness; to dim the perception or susceptibility of; make dull or insensible

Synonyms include: becloud, bedim, hazen, blind

After work today, I went to see the eye doctor. I've been wearing glasses since I was in 3rd grade so seeing an optometrist every 2 years has been THE constant in my life. So you'd think that at 29 years old, 20 years since I donned my first pair of spectacles, I would have some sense to know what a regular visit would entail and prepare accordingly.

I had my appointment with Dr. Lee (very nice, young Asian doctor who was all smiles) at Teagle Optometry here at the mall. Instead of having my pupils dilated, this crazy cool camera takes a picture of the back of my eyes and the doctor can check for abnormalities, tumors, etc. Everything checked out ok, thank goodness. My prescription changed just a bit, which indicates that my vision is somewhat stabilizing. I didn't plan to buy new frames because mine are perfectly good still so I was getting ready to leave.

"So you're gonna leave your glasses with us to get the new lenses in. Did you bring your spare?" Dr. Lee asked.

"Spare? No, I don't have a spare," I said, knowing where this was going.

"Ok then! So you brought contacts?"

"Contacts?" I thought. Yeah, that would've been good to bring you idiot. How the hell were you planning to drive home? "No, I didn't."

Dr. Lee looked at me and was probably gonna ask if someone was picking me up so hoping not to look stupid I said, "Oh, I live close by. I can just walk home."

And so I did. I walked through the mall, through the parking lot...BLIND AS ALL HELL. I got to the end of the parking structure, getting ready to cross the street and I swear I'd never felt so scared of getting run over. The entire world was a big blur to me. What the hell was I thinking, attempting to walk home at night without any glasses or contacts to help me see! Oh man, this is another one to add to the list of stupid things I did when I was alive!

Happy 30th Birthday

JAMES!!

(You can have all the girly drinks you want today!...even drinks with a skewer of gummi bears in them!!)