IN MY THOUGHTS TODAY...
It would be easy for me to write about how sad I feel for those victimized on September 11, 2001 and for those who've experienced a similarly tragic loss because of Hurrican Katrina; because I wasn't affected directly by it and I can sit here in my comfortable room, with my parents and sister healthy and alive. It would be easy for me to chastise our leaders, foreign AND domestic, for either not doing enough or doing too much too irrationally; because I don't know what it feels like to have the well-being and future of a nation in my hands. I can preach about charity and sacrifice; the most I've done is hand over the little money I have so someone else can do the charity and sacrifice.
It would be easy for me to write about how sad I feel for those victimized on September 11, 2001 and for those who've experienced a similarly tragic loss because of Hurrican Katrina; because I wasn't affected directly by it and I can sit here in my comfortable room, with my parents and sister healthy and alive. It would be easy for me to chastise our leaders, foreign AND domestic, for either not doing enough or doing too much too irrationally; because I don't know what it feels like to have the well-being and future of a nation in my hands. I can preach about charity and sacrifice; the most I've done is hand over the little money I have so someone else can do the charity and sacrifice.
What has been easy for me to feel since 9/11 and Katrina is guilt; guilt that I probably don't deserve half of the things and people I'm blessed with when there are others who have so much less than I. I've been complaining about money woes lately, and yesterday was no different. A glance at my bank balances in the morning was enough to send me into virtigo. I literally wanted to cry and hurl in the middle of my cubicle. "Why God?" I asked. "Why didn't I just stay with the chemical engineering thing? I could've making so much more than I do right now. I'd have hardly any debt, etc, etc, etc." But when I went downstairs to put the mail in the box, I ran into a homeless man. Then when I turned on the tv when I got home, I saw image upon image of people at relief centers trying to find a family member, in addition to flashes of firemen hosing down the Pentagon and the remains of the Twin Towers." I get it, God. I get it."
Sometimes I don't realize the amount of help needed in this world. I guess for the most part I don't think I can do much. For dilemmas such as this, I say the following prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi:
O Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace!
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is discord, harmony.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sorrow, joy.
Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Sometimes I don't realize the amount of help needed in this world. I guess for the most part I don't think I can do much. For dilemmas such as this, I say the following prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi:
O Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace!
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is discord, harmony.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sorrow, joy.
Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
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