GET WITH IT GIRLFRIEND!

iya and i were reading our horoscopes last friday at the bookstore (during one of our breaks from studying...which of course occurred before we STARTED any ACTUAL studying) and it mentioned how aquarians (that's me!) thrive on change. and then iya turned to me and said, "how weird cuz you don't like change right?" and i responded, "yes i do! i love change!" and then i remembered something i KNOW i said, to her probably, a few years ago. i said, and i quote, "dammit i hate change." pretty self-explanatory i think. anyhow, yes i do remember saying that and with valid enough reasons, or so i thought.

i love being comfortable. i love finding your niche with something or someone and staying there. i simply adore having friends who i know will be there always...but being here FOREVER would constitute a perfect world for me and we all know that doesn't exist. i guess "changes" for me have involved more relationships than anything. like when your best friends find their boyfriend and/or girlfriend and you sort of phase out of their lives little by little. there is absolutely no stopping this, as i've discovered, no matter how badly you feel. the only way to deal with changes such as this, is to change along with them.

i've discovered that this is my problem. it's not that i loathe change. actually, i love change. change is great! i'm just not good at taking any action to achieve it. i'm learning though, taking some baby steps more than ever these days. i'm hoping there are more years left in this life for me to roll with the punches and go with the flow. it's kind of like riding a rollercoaster. the more you resist the downward speed of the ride and the tighter your grip on the bar, the more you feel the drop turning your insides out. but if you just let go and allow the motion to take you, it's never half as bad as you expected. hmmm...