breakaway [breyk-uh-wey]
an act or instance of breaking away; secession; separation; a departure or break from routine or tradition
Synonyms include: secession, separate

What do you do when you can’t handle it anymore? When frustration seems to follow you wherever you walk but you don’t want to make a big hoo ha about it because you’re hoping it’s not really happening or that in time, it’ll get better? I begin to wonder most times if it’s me that’s the problem. I hate these episodes, only sometimes I'm afraid this is a chronic issue...

Oh bother... E-crew, can we please leave now?

Breakaway
by: Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happyI would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come fromI
gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BIG SIS

ANNIE!!!

rhythm [rith-uhm]
movement or procedure with uniform or patterned recurrence of a beat, accent, or the like; procedure marked by the regular recurrence of particular elements, phases, etc
Synonyms include: cadence, flow, movement, regularity, periodicity

I SOOO want to think of something clever to write about, but my system is so out of whack that I feel like if I try too hard to be a good writer, I'll just confuse everyone. So I'll just tell you what an off day I had today. I usually wake up at 5:30 am but this morning I got out of bed at 6:05 am. I didn't leave for work until 6:40, in a poorly put-together outfit, with my half-wet hair barely held together by a claw. When I got in my car I realized I had to get gas. This'll make my commute much faster, I thought to myself. By the time I got on the freeway, it was 6:50 am. I start work at 7:30, and next thing I knew, it was 7:10 am on a Monday morning and I had 30 miles to go. Thank goodness no one keeps tabs on time at the office. I got there at 7:45 am.

Lately I feel like I've been making a lot of mistakes at work too. I hate it because they're mistakes that I should have noticed. Like "Milwaukee, IL" on an advertising rate card. Milwaukee would be in WI, Anna. AAAAARRRRGGGHHH! We had 250 of those printed already and I can't have them reprinted cuz my boss doesn’t think it’s worth the trouble. Thank goodness my Bob (my boss) is sooo understanding about everything all the time. Then I had to run month-end reports and I could not, for the life of me, balance those numbers. I refused to go to lunch until I did so I ran the report probably 6 more times before things finally matched! I ended up missing out on lunch but that’s ok. Geez, sometimes I really hate numbers!

This week, one of my co-workers is at a conference so she had to clue me in on all her business before I left for the day. I usually leave at 4:00 pm. But because she had so much to hand over to me, I didn’t leave until 4:35. I’m clocking overtime for that!

Traffic from the office was relatively bearable than the morning. When I got home I took a nap and then headed to yoga with Riann. I sucked tonight. It felt SOO obvious that I hadn’t done it in a month! It’s all good though, because I tried and I’ll go again (for my sistah, Fantone).

It wasn’t really a bad day, per se. As Riann suggested, it was just an out-of-rhythm kind of day. I guess I just got so comfortable with everything, especially at work, that I developed a cadence, thereby doing things without thinking because it just became second nature. Today was a swift kick in the rear to remind me that I need to stay alert. That and I think for the first time I’m feeling overwhelmed at work and I have a hard time asking for help. I’ll work on that. I’m sure tomorrow will be better.

milestone [mahyl-stohn]
a significant event or stage in the life, progress, development, or the like of a person, nation, etc.
Synonyms include: anniversary, breakthrough, landmark, turning point

We have countless opportunities in life to achieve milestones. The first word you speak as a baby, your first day of school, your first job, first kiss, your first time out of the country - basically anything that involves the word "first" can be considered a milestone. Young love, a first (and hopefully only) marriage, at our age, has been a milestone celebrated time and again these past few years. Ryan and Ann, my goodness, when I think of them now and remember them then, I have to smile. Talk about love meeting great timing! In less than 2 months they're going to be husband and wife!! And we can't forget birthday milestones. My Uncle Joe celebrated his 70th birthday yesterday! A retired naval officer, he and my Auntie Nit have raised 13 children, not to mention even more grandchildren! These cousins of mine are some of the hardest working, fun-loving individuals you will ever meet. My uncle was, still is, quite the old-fashioned strict father and grandfather. No alcohol is even allowed at family gatherings at his house! It's true that these days, his eyesight is compromised and he's not as quick-footed as he was as a young sailor man (I love seeing those pictures of him in the uniform!), but he's as quick-witted as ever.

Last night we also celebrated Annie & Will's 30th birthdays. There's a whole mess of people getting to this milestone this year. We had dinner at Tokyo Wako at the Pike in Long Beach. Our chef was so much fun to watch and so personable as he prepared the food in front of us. Orders ranged from filet mignon, grilled salmon, scallops, prawns and teriyaki chicken. (I'm getting hungry just thinking about i!) And to finish it off, we all had some yummy tempura ice cream! It was hilarious because if it's your birthday, you get to dress up in a kimono and wig while they sing to you. Annie and Will were all about it! I've looked up to Annie since I met her. That Big Sis of mine, I love her to death! And Will, freakin' Nurse funnyman. He doesn't talk a lot, but when he opens his mouth, something hilarious always comes out. I I watched them last night, how much they're looking forward to as individuals and together and it's comforting. 30's going to be great time in life.

And the cutest milestone of all? My niece Samantha's 1st year! She just turned 1 this summer and, oh my goodness, I could spend the entire day playing with her! She's so well-behaved, hardly cried as she sat in the swarm of people and deafening cackles around her. She fussed for maybe 5 seconds until I gave her my fan to play with. When adulthood feels like crap, I get so envious of a baby's life! 1 year old is definitely a place in my life I wouldn't mind re-visiting every so often.

I was thinking of all the moments in my life which I felt were significant in shaping the person I've become, and I came across these words:

"Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments." - Rose Kennedy

Here, then, is to many more moments!!

essence [es-uhns]
the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features; the inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything, as opposed to what is accidental, phenomenal, illusory
Synonyms include: aspect, attribute, backbone, base, being,fiber, nature, substance

A friend of ours passed away last week. Out of everything I’ve learned to accept in this life, death seems to be the hardest for me to understand. When we hear such news we tend to feel very sad, angry, bereft…and most of all, in my experience, confused. We ask for the whys and hows and often find ourselves unable to deal with more than one emotion at one time. After the mourning period has passed, and we’re forced to build acceptance, then lessons about time being of the essence begin to take place. Carpe diem – seize the day: so the mantra goes. It’s too bad we need to witness death to be able to appreciate life and time as we know it at this very second.

Midway through these fragmented thoughts, I received the following email:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

And the last line said this:

Don't be afraid that your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin.

R.I.P. J.K.F...

Happy Anniversary

Bobbers & Metty!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TO BABYGIRL, RIANN!

I think this year we'll all chip in and buy you a cat. You know, a cat...meow meow?! Hahaha!

reminder [ri-mahyn-der]
a person or thing that serves to remind; an experience that causes you to remember something
Synonyms include: admonition; indication; remembrance

I know exactly what I was doing when the awful memory of today's date came to pass. I was asleep and my mom was knocking on my door. I remember being a little cranky because I had about 15 more minutes left before I had to wake up. So I opened my bedroom door and my mom walked directly to my tv and turned it on. I was still half-asleep; couldn't figure out what the heck was happening. I figured someone must have died and she wanted me to watch it on the news. But all I saw was smoke flowing out of the the top of one of the Twin Towers.

At first I didn't know that an airplane had caused such a scene. I thought that one of the floors of the building was on fire and they were trying to extinguish it. But then I watched in disbelief as another plane rammed into the second tower. And then I watched in horror as the two buildings, which a year before I was walking around in with Ate, Leia, Cile, Ryan, Fantone and Andrew, caved in and fell to the ground. Saying I was "shocked" doesn't do my feelings any justice. I don't think I'd ever been so dumbfounded.

I've never really talked about this event with anyone. It's not because I think I'm above it, or because I have nothing to say. I just honestly don't know how to feel about it. Angry....afraid...sad...fortunate...guilty...

Happy Birthday, Dad!!!

(hahaha!)

My office homie, Jovi, sent this to us today.

-----------------Girls--------------
--------are like apples------
------on trees. The best ones-----
-----are at the top of the tree.-----
---The boys dont want to reach---
--for the good ones because they--
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that arent as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something wrong w/ them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
---have to wait for the right boy to
---- come along, the one who's-
----------- brave enough to-----
---------------climb all---------
---------------the way--------
--------------to the top--------
-------------of the tree.---------

Jovi's boyfriend, Eddie, works here too and here's their email exchange about this forward:

Jovi: And then there’s the boy that shakes the tree from the trunk and forces the good apples up top to fall onto the ground. I hate those boys. Lazy!
Eddie: I’d just chop the tree down and take the apples and sell them on the street!Now that’s a pimp!

~ Hahahaha! ~

Anyhow, I know this is corny, but I think it's cute! (Cile's probably gonna say, "You WOULD think this is cute!) Haha! This is for all my single pals! Girls AND guys...some people just don't know where and how far to look for us top apples! =) Dang, conceited!

fantasy [fan-tuh-see]
imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained; an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream; a hallucination
Synonyms include: daydream, delusion, dream, fabrication, figment, illusion, mirage

Finally YOU GUYS ARE DONE! SHE'S GONE!

Hahaha! AS IF, right? A girl can dream...

revenge [ri-venj]
to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, esp. in a resentlful or vindictive spirit; to take vengeance for
Synonyms include: retaliation; avengement; getting even; malevolence; repayment; vengefulness; vindictiveness

Thanks, James, for telling us about this wonderful song! I freakin' love it! Hahaha! (evil laugh)

Ready, Aim, Misfire
By: New Year’s Day

Get out of the car, and don't try and stop me
Stay where you are, 'cause there you can't hurt me
You took things too far, and I don't deserve this
No I don't deserve this

You said that you'd be, you'd always be honest
And mean what you say, but you broke every promise
That you ever made, and I don't deserve this
No I don't deserve this

If I had just one bullet, and a trigger I'd pull it
Shoot my cupid out of the sky
Break off his wings, and gouge out his eyes
And thank him for nothing,
'cause that's all that he gave to me
Your love is my heart disease

Don't try and call, I'm not going to answer
I'm not going to fall for another disaster
That you put me through, and I don't deserve this
No I don't deserve this

I don't care anymore
Because without you I'm better off.

Shoot my cupid out of the sky
Break off his wings and ask him just why
He played such a sick joke on the fool that is me
And curse me with this sickness
Your love is my heart disease.

That song's hilaire, Jaime! I was all sleepy at work today, listening to my nano shuffling and this song came on and I just started cracking up. Made my day! You need to write songs like this, homie!

summer [suhm-er]
the season between spring and autumn, in the Northern Hemisphere from the summer solstice to the autumnal equinox, and in the Southern Hemisphere from the winter solstice to the vernal equinox; a period of hot, usually sunny weather; the period of finest development, perfection, or beauty previous to any decline
Synonyms include: summertime, sunny season, vacation

Labor Day weekend, for as long as I can remember, has always signified one truly sad thing for me: the end of summer and the beginning of the school year. It's been 7 years since I've had to grapple with this thorn in my vacational foot. After June 2000, I lost a certain sense of time. I was forced to abandon the academic calendar, which always began with autumn and ended with summer. Suddenly my new year of life began in January, and that was just weird. Now another summer is coming to pass. The weather hasn't been too forgiving as of yet. The 105 degrees I saw on a thermometer today shows no indication of the autumn that waits 18 days away. By the time we reach September 21st, we'll have something else to deal with - the end of this year and the beginning of the next. But I'll wait until September to get into that...Another indication of the end of summer for me are the birthdays that we celebrate. A beach bonfire to celebrate Rachey, Matt and Chris' birthdays was such the California thing to do. I'm not much of a beachgoer, but when I do step on the sand, see the ocean, feel the breeze (or in the case of that night, huge gusts of wind - it was freezing!), I always feel like the Southern California girl that I am.
Isa's birthday falls in the middle of August (yummy Little Caesar's in the brand new house!), and by the time we reach Rochelle's birthday, it's already the end of the month. No way did summer sprint past us like that!!!
We had dinner at McGrath's Fishhouse in Santa Anita to celebrate Rochelle's 28th. Our table was situated in what appeared to be a sunroom, where a whole wall was an open window to the outside. We dined on seafoord, semi-al fresco. We were dressed in short sleeve polos, blouses, tanktops, skirts and shorts. To think, in a month or so, we'll be stowing away such light clothing in exchange for scarves, turtleneck sweaters and jackets.
Winter has always been my favorite season of the year. I love layering clothes and wearing scarves. My cousins from the east coast always tease me because, compared to their winters in Ohio, Illinois or North Carolina, the months between November and February here are significantly more pleasant and fair.
In any case, the fact remains, summer will turn into autumn soon. A new season awaits more opportunities for change, for reminders, for looking forward. "Have a great summer!" our friends wrote in our yearbooks. It maybe have sounded generic back then, but such wishes only make me smile as I remember what pleasantries the last 3 months have brought: engagement celebrations, wedding planning, weddings, new babies, beach days, family reunions, birthdays, housewarmings, SEXYBack and the rest of Justin's new cd(hahahaha!), Danity Kane's long-awaited cd (hahaha!), skirt outfits, trips, a graduation, new friends and new things to look forward to. A great summer it really has been...

loaf [lohf]
to idle away time; to lounge or saunter lazily and idly; a portion of bread or cake baked in a mass, usually oblong with a rounded top (haha)
Synonyms include: to be inactive, be slothful, be unoccupied, dillydally, evade, fool around, hang out, loiter, lounge, pass time, relax

Riann’s favorite past time is an activity she fondly calls, “loafing.” Whenever she has ANY TIME whatsoever where she doesn’t have to work or run errands, she “loafs around,” often pulling a fellow malingerer to join her. Living 4 minutes away, I find myself a part of her spontaneous loafing excursions.

Loafing doesn’t involve a lot of planning or thinking. In fact, it calls for more randomness than anything. When I’m driving home from work, Riann will call or I’ll call her and next thing you know, we’re either at the mall or at this SurfCity/Jamba Juice-like place that opened recently in Glendale called “Maui Wowie.” After spending one evening there, sipping on one of many coffee and fruity drinks, we realized that we had found our new favorite hangout.

One Tuesday night, however, we decided to to check out this place in Fullerton called 419 Veronese Gallery and Cafe, highly recommended by Chef Seong, who was there to loaf along. What a welcome treat that evening was. The cafe itself is not your typical Starbucks or Coffee Bean, whose walls are often laden with shelves of packed coffee beans, tea bags and travelmugs with the notable insignias etched on them. This cafe was different. In the simplest description that I could give - it feels like someone's house.

Before Riann and I walked through the front door, we were welcomed by a quick set of steps, which leads to a porch furnished with a wooden park bench and table. The red front door opens up into a living area of armchairs, small coffee tables, books, art and...is that Whitney Houston playing in the speaker? Hahaha! The soundtrack all night was an eclectic blend of KOST 103.5 classics, from Toni Braxton, to Jewel, to BSB (YUCK!!!) to Joe's favorite, Lionel Richie.

We walked around the property as we waited for Seong to arrive and we were, what's the word?...Delighted. No two sets of tables and chairs look alike and each piece of furniture is strategically placed in a part of the house and garden that it was supposed to. A deck surrounds the cafe, and we found ourselves sitting at a table on the corner of this deck, sipping our tea and mango slush, snacking on tiramisu and chatting about everything, from Valentine's Day disasters to musical artists no one would ever suspect we'd be fans of.

We couldn't leave without taking pictures so here we are taking in the eclectic environment around us. Right next to our table was a shelf of books and... weights? Hahaha! Riann picked up the 5 lb'ers whilst I decided to take in this book...written in Korean or Japanese.

The place wasn't crowded so it was a relatively peaceful evening, except, of course, for the laughter you can't avoid when you're in good company. (Pictures taken by S.H. Good job, Chef!)