OH MOTHER...

She can hardly work the dvd player,

but knowing how to watch Oprah on the DVR is a piece of cake.
She doesn't know how to reply to an email on AOL or surf the internet,

but she can make any stain on your clothes disappear

and what she irons never seems to wrinkle.
She has her license and refuses to drive,

but can find her way (and our way) out no matter where we are.
She can't figure out how to use her camera phone, or take her cell out of speakerphone mode, but she can cook ANYTHING to meticulous perfection.
She thought "norkeling" was an actual activity,

yet she can identify practically any flower she sees

and her roses, orchids and sampaguita fluorish abundantly in their respective seasons.

She'll never miss a chance to tell me that I did something wrong,

but she'll be the first person to rescue me when I have.

She's Mom, generous and thoughtful, stern but loving.

She's my heroine.

Happy Birthday Mom!