passion [pash-uhn]
any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling; a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything
Synonyms include: desire, affection, dedication, vehemence

I feel like each day since the year began produces more troubling situations than my mind can figure solutions for. I've come to rely on any and every sign of hope that good fortune lies somewhere beneath the jinx that is my life these days. It's disconcerting to be loving every breath I take one minute, and then wishing it would stop the next. When and why did the aura of contentment and optimism reduce itself to the dim and dreary cloud of haze that it is today?

I've been asking myself that a lot, thinking that if I knew how I got here, I could just as easily figure a way out. Immediate, but temporary, bouts of gratification and inspiration are plentiful. But something in me is still lacking, missing almost, and it's taken the death of a beloved priest to tell me what my problem is.

Fr. Lawrence was a pastor at St. Robert's in Burbank, and to have known him to any degree is to have known a real man of the Lord. It wasn't just because he wore the "uniform," could say mass or transform the bread and wine into holy body and blood. Any priest can do that. But Fr. Lawrence, in his most notably red, curly hair, possessed something that a lot of lost individuals seek without realizing: passion - Passion for the role that you're born to play in life, passion for the lives of the people you affect, passion for the heart and the soul that you've been blessed with, but at times are too afraid to use. THAT is what's missing these days for me and for a few people I know.

For many of us, the zeal for life's many opportunities peaked at the very beginning, but has since sunk into deep valleys of complacency and sheer boredum. The passion, you could say, has passed and we are left asking the following questions: How do I get it back? Or do I still have it, but misplaced it for the time being? Is it even retrievable or must I seek new sources?

In the end, whatever we decide, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that the choices we make, and the bases for which we make them are heartfelt and true. Like Fr. Lawrence, who shared his life with us, we too can have a passionate spirit that will not only save us from that which we find cumbersome or mundane, but will provide us with the warmth of knowing that this is what we love to do, this is what we're here for.

Have fun in heaven, Fr. Lawrence. Thank you for everything.