inspired [in-spahyuhrd]
aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence
Synonyms include: aspiring, earnest

So the last 24 hours for me have been...something to contend with. I went to bed last night a little frustrated, I woke up this morning annoyed and I barely got through the workday without getting distracted by thoughts that don't need to be there. The ride home was bearable enough. Then I called my cousin from Ohio, Melissa. Talk about sunshine to my cloudy day!

Mel is one of my favorite people! There is a funloving air about her that is completely infectious and I'm so happy that I called her when I did. Talking to her made me want to BE her, at that moment, so giggly, loving life, excited be alive. And it made me think of this song...

"Suddenly I See"
by: KT Tunstall

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

catch-up [kach-uhp]
an effort to reach or pass a norm, esp. after a period of delay; an approach or strategy intended to overcome a disadvantage or lead
Synonyms include: pick-up, hustle, draw near, close in

Playing catch-up – that’s what I feel like I’ve been trying to do since November 30th! Ever since I got home from the trip, I feel like all I’ve been doing is trying to keep up with everything and everyone around me. When I got home, it was suddenly Christmas time, then the New Year came, then weddings, birthdays and farewells to plan and attend, plus work got really busy and then some financials whacked me in the ass, sleep suddenly became optional and now I feel like I’m finally getting a slight handle on things (“Slight” meaning “barely” and “handle” meaning “gripping on to what’s left of my sanity”).

This weekend I tried to, as Riann would say, “get it together.” The meaning of this mission is 3-fold:
1) Get more rest
2) Learn what it means to manage time more wisely
3) Figure out a way to make #1 and #2 work as a team

So this weekend, aside from a few errands and a unique bridal expo at the Ritz Carlton (Thanks again, Iya!), I set to get my act together. I got about 12 hours of sleep on Friday night (which has been equivalent to maybe 3 days of sleep during the workweek these last few weeks) and I awoke on Saturday morning at 7 am, refreshed and ready to start the day. I drove my sister to basketball practice, dropped my car off at the dealers to get serviced and walked back to my house. I’d say that’s about 10 blocks worth. But I turned the nano on, got on my merry way, content as I could be at that moment…halfway through, wishing I lived farther.

Walking, whether you’re alone or with company, is a catalyst for inadvertent meditation. Everything you stroll by, whether it’s an old man walking his Yorkshire terrier (who is wearing the cutest argyle sweater)up the street, or the entire boulevard of cars built like a vehicular fortress of commerce, can trigger memories or reverie you are sometimes not prepared to encounter. Suddenly you find yourself at peace because your pace on the pavement, the sounds in your ear and the thoughts in your head somehow find themselves in sync with each other and every moment that you felt scatterbrained before, has passed. I loved that walk for everything it made me feel. For one thing, it felt like one of our typical days in Italy: wake up early, walk a lot, stop at a church. Hahaha!

Anyhow, the moral of the story? When you take the time to JUST BE, there may never be a need TO catch up with the rest of your life. In the midst of chaos, a quick respite (i.e. a walk around the neighborhood) will probably yield more results than the constant need to get everything done and make everyone happy all at the same time.

Happy Birthday to my pinsan (cousin),
Aimee!!!

Hey Fantone!

Happy Birthday, my sistah!

melancholy [mel-uhn-kol-ee]

a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression

Synonyms include: blue, despondent, despirited, glum

"Melancholy" is one of my favorite words. Sometimes I need to experience it in order to feel grateful for the times when I'm not. The last 25 days of the year have not all been pleasant (weddings and birthdays excluded of course), but today...Today had potential to be unlike the previous days before it and I am nothing but thankful.

And in honor of the birthday celebrant, a visit to from an old friend. Until next time, as Fantone used to end every email..."Peace, Love and Tony Lucca..." Hahahahaha!!!

Melancholy Collar

by: Tony Lucca

Took that melancholy collar off my throat

Took some time to fix this hole here at the bottom of my boat

Still sailing through these stormy seas

I glorify my tragedies and add it to the love song i just wrote

Bittersweet this self pity of mine

I try so hard to shake it

Still i'm clinging to it all the time

That which doesn't kill me maybe someday might fulfill me

For now it's just the pain i seem to find

Everyday I tell myself I'm sane

Like a water color painter painting in the rain

Everyday she flows right through my veins

And my song remains the same

Find it hard to look most people in the eye

Trying to be that simple, subtle, sentimental kind of guy

I make a good impression save my constant coy confessio

Self-deprecation rarely tells a lie

Everyday I tell myself I'm sane

Like a firefly dancer dancing in the rain

Everyday she flows right through my veins

And my song remains the same

Now just once I'd like to see the other side

And find out why I feel this need t

To constantly try to hide

Still I've gotta make it home and realize that i'm alone

Cook myself a great big plate of pride.

toddler [tod-ler]
a person who toddles, esp. a young child learning to walk (Oh is that why they're called that?)
Synonyms include: child, baby

This made my freakin' day! Check out my nephew, Roman and my niece, Bianca. hahaha!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5989087077859639083

sequence [see-kwuhns]
the following of one thing after another; order of succession
Synonyms include: chain, consecutiveness, course, progression

To think...

We went from an engagement in Hawaii...

...to shopping for wedding dresses...

...to printing labels and scanning pictures....
...to cutting cellophane...

...to cutting ribbon....

...to slicing tule...

...basically planning a wedding...

...to THIS!

OH WAIT, wrong guy...haha!

Demmit Joe, outta my way!

I meant to THIS...
CONGRATULATIONS

ISA & NICK!!!

send-off [send-awf]
a demonstration of good wishes for a person setting out on a trip, career, or other venture
Synonyms include: adieu, adios, farewell (what the heck?)

So we bid Seong, "Farewell!" on Wednesday. Gosh we were so sad to see him go. Just look at those long faces....Yeah right! This guy's coming back in a month for a wedding so Riann said that this send-off was a fake!

No tears here (unless you cried after we left, Chef). We laughed all evening actually, which is the impression you'd want to leave on a friend who's supposed to be gone for a year (or 6 months. hahaha!).

The last few times we've had to see someone off at the airport, we always end up hanging out in the same area of the food terrace, looking down at the insanity below, listening to the multi-lingual announcements over the PA.

As much as I think I'd enjoy sitting there and writing out my observations, airports remain a double-edged sword for me. I love going there if I'm going somewhere on vacation or if I'm picking someone up. I hate when I have to take someone there because they're going away. I guess you just always hope for their quick return. In this case....1 MONTH! haha!

Take Care, Chef!!!

Have fun in your native land of Korea!

Kamsahamida for everything!

sarcasm [sahr-kaz-uhm]
harsh or bitter derision or irony; a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark
Synonyms include: acrimony, bitterness, satire, cynicism

I'm fine, really. I'm just in one of those moods. Do you ever have one of those days (weeks or months, whichever is more appropo to your situation) when you've just kind of HAD IT? I have these "moments" every so often and I just have to let it play out, that's all. A little bit of anger comes after this hopelessness AND THEN, I'll be back to normal, whatever that entails. Sometimes the optimistic, sentimental shmuck in me needs a rest and this is a result of this respite.

In any case, there's this British chick, Lilly Allen, whose music videos we kept seeing on tv in Italy. I'm all about her music right now (especially this song below. Find it. Listen to it). There's a witty and sarcastic tone to her stuff that I can't get enough of. YouTube her videos. They're pretty hilarious.

All you crazy fools going to Vegas - have fun be careful! No one pull a Mark Wong PLEASE! All my friends planning weddings - it's gonna be okay, it'll be great! As for the rest of us, it's a long weekend, write a story, search for your glory, have some coffee, sketch something, watch dvd's - ENJOY!!! See? I'm fine. No need to worry. Everything's just...I'll let Lilly finish up for me...

Everything's Just Wonderful
by: Lilly Allen

Do you think, everything, everyone, is going mental
It seems to me that it's spiraling outta control and it's inevitable
Now don't you think,
This time is yours, this time is mine,
It’s temperamental,
It seems to me, we're on all fours,
Crawling on our knees,
Someone help us please

Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,
It's very funny cos I've got your f*cking money,
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

Don't you want something else,
Something new, than what we've got here,
And don't you feel it's all the same,
Some sick game and it's so insincere,
I wish I could change the ways of the world,
Make it a nice place
Until that day, I guess we stay,
Doing what we do
Screwing who we screw

Why can't I sleep at night,
Don't say it's gonna be alright,
I wanna be able to eat spaghetti bolognaise,
and not feel bad about it for days and days and days.
In the magazines they talk about weight loss,
If I buy those jeans I can look like Kate Moss,
I know it's not the life I chose,
But I guess that's the way that things go

Oh yes, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

despair [di-spair]
loss of hope; hopelessness, someone or something that causes hopelessness; to lose, give up, or be without hope
Synonyms include: anguish, dejection, desperation, despondency, disheartenment, forlorness

I've just been under one of those spells lately, where the source is easy to pinpoint, difficult to face; where you're not in the mood to do or say anything to anyone; where you want to crawl under a rock and hope no one will notice you're gone but wish someone would come get you. During these times it seems like the only thing you CAN do is pray it out...

Prayer to St. Jude

To be said when problems arise or when one seems to be deprived of all visible help,

or for cases almost despaired of.

Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus,

the Church honors and invokes you universally,

as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of.

Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.

Make use I implore you, of that particular privilege given to you,

to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.

Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings

that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever.
I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor,

to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, a

nd to gratefully encourage devotion to you.
Amen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KHAHLOH!!!

Look who I almost carjacked this morning. Hahahaha!

sacrifice ['sa-kr&-"fIs]
forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim
Synonyms include: cede, forgo, let go, lose, offer up, part with, renounce, spare, suffer, surrender, waive, yield

A wise man once said, "You can have anything in life, if you will sacrifice everything else for it." What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in, means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming; when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens - when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around - that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear. - Dr. Meredith Grey, "Grey's Anatomy"(Yes, I did in fact rewind-play-pause-rewind-play-pause to get all this down!)

Well, a wise friend once told me that, "Nothing ever worth attaining is without great risk." That great risk is often the sacrifice we have to contend with when we come upon something we want so badly, but are too crippled by our own fear that it won't happen just the way we want it to and we'll end up feeling like failures! It’s so tragic how often we let things that haven’t even happened yet keep us from doing what we really want; which is a real shame because I learned in 2006 that the happiest I ever am is when I do what want, with whom I want, when I want to do it and without all that over-analysis of the pros and cons. I can’t imagine the joy I might’ve sacrificed had I not taken any chances.

I watched “Under the Tuscan Sun” about a month before we left for our trip, and then I watched it again on New Year’s Eve day. Before meeting Italy face-to-face, I watched that movie with a child-like anticipation of what I would be seeing live in 30 days’ time. All I could think of were all the pictures I’d be taking, all the food I’d be eating and all the wonderful new things I’d be experiencing with 5 of my favorite people. I didn’t prepare myself for any life-altering changes, nor did I expect to be any more awed than any 28-year old traveling through Europe would be. But I climbed up castle walls in Switzerland, rode a water bus through the Grand Canal in Venice, stood before Michelangelo’s statue of David and climbed 463 steps to the top of the Duomo in Florence, not to mention the fact that I walked around the Coliseum, made wishes at the Trevi Fountain and attended mass at the Vatican in Rome – HOW COULD LIFE FOR ME NOT CHANGE AFTER THIS?

Aside from 2-weeks’ worth of sightseeing, eating and drinking, I encountered a lot of moments for private reverie, even in the company of 5 crazy friends, hundreds of Italians and even more tourists. These sessions of dream-like meditations may not have been obvious to anyone, but they definitely resonated with me thereafter; and they weren’t just musings about the beauty and history that surrounded me.

What I thought of most while I was away were all the choices I made during the past year, as well as all the choices that everyone around me made. I only need to think of my family and friends when I wonder about sacrifice and risk. I think of my parents who sacrificed a big house and a fancy car to invest in their daughters’ education. I think of my friends who finished 4-5 years of undergraduate studies, and decided to go back to school to further their careers or start new ones. I think of all of us commuters who brave long drives for a job we happen to enjoy. I think of all of you who left or have to leave the comfort and familiarity of home to move out of state or out of the country because you have things in life you have to take care of. I think of all the second chances we gave and were given. And how can I forget everyone who got engaged! Talk about taking a chance on letting someone into your life – forever!

Yes, there are sacrifices we may not be prepared to make, nor risks we may not be ready to undertake. But when has life ever asked us if we were ready for something? In my experience, hardly ever, almost never. It scares me to imagine that I won’t be ready to handle something that comes my way. But it terrifies me even more to think I’d be too afraid to see what I’m made of.

So, Belated HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVERYONE! I hope that only faith and grace lead the way through each sacrifice and each risk you make in 2007!

Happy 30th Anniversary, Mom & Dad!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEIA BETH!!!

Happy Anniversary, Ise & Nick!

(19 more days! AAAAAHHHHH!!!)

resolution [rez-uh-loo-shuh n]
a formal expression of opinion or intention made; the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose
Synonyms include: aim, boldness, dauntlessness, determination, ernestness

Thanks for this, Isa!

Let It Go For 2007...
By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.The bible said that, “they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us..” [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay…Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...Let it go!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…Let it go!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...Let it go!!
If someone has angered you…Let it go!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...Let it go!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...Let it go!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents…Let it go!!
If you have a bad attitude...Let it go!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...Let it go!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...Let it go!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...Let it go!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...Let it go!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed…Let it go!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...Let it go!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!! – Let it go!!

Get Right or Get Left...think about it, and then – Let it go!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

Hope we can all let go this year!

HAPPY 2007!!!