DEAREST PAPANG,

I thought about you today while I was in church. I suddenly heard you talking to me. You may have realized I’d heard you when I wiped the tears from my face. A year ago on this very day you left us here to live your real life in heaven and I can’t imagine the paradise that it must be, but we sure miss you down here.

Everything’s okay as far as I can tell. I don’t doubt you’ve got access to the world you knew so well before. I know Mamang misses you a lot. I think about her as much as I think about you, wishing I could be there to take walks with her and talk to her like you did. But here I am an ocean away, only able to show my love through prayers, thoughts and the occasional greeting cards and random phonecalls. I know you always said that this was more than enough, but I always though I could do so much more. The only comfort I found was knowing that you knew I loved you, no matter how far away I was. Thanks so much for understanding.

So do you really hear me up there? I talk to you all the time, asking for help, guidance and protection, and you’ve never failed to come through. Even when you’re in heaven I’m asking for stuff! How spoiled am I? But that’s the grandparent curse I suppose, succumbing to the grandchild’s every wish no matter what form you’re in? Are you getting enough help up there? We’re a demanding bunch down here aren’t we? You probably have lots of people helping you out because I can’t believe how blessed I’ve been, especially lately.

I’ve been a little confused about life this past year, ‘Pang, trying so hard to figure out so many things at one time. But I try my hardest to hold the dearest of my faith close, a faith which has guided me through so many seemingly inconceivable dilemmas that I couldn’t even try to explain. I know you don’t worry though because you know how much faith I’ve got that no matter what happens to me, I’ll be able to handle it. There are just times, I guess, when I need a little reminder of that faith. Faith maintenance sure takes a lot of work. But knowing that you’re all up there watching over me is more protection and guidance than I could ever ask of my faith and I thank you.

So a few of my friends’ loved ones just arrived recently, right? And a few others got there before you? I’m sure you’ve all met, telling stories of your lives before heaven. I know they can hear me too, but thank them for watching over all of us too.

Okay, I better get going. This accounting class is a real pain! I'm sure you've heard me complaining about it? Can I get some help on this project and this final please? Thank you! Anyhow, Happy Christmas! Must be quite an event up there this time of year, huh? Celebrating Jesus' birthday? I can't wait to see what it's like myself. Until then...

Loving and thinking of you always, your granddaughter,
Lengleng