nightmare [nahyt-mair]
a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.
Synonyms include: bad dream, hallucination

A few years ago, I used to have a recurring dream: I’d be driving (on the 110 through downtown, on the 101 through the hills of Ventura to go to work, through the windy roads of Tuscany even) and there would come a point when I’d close my eyes and suddenly become completely unable to open them. I didn’t want to pull over because I couldn’t see where I was going, so I just kept driving in utter fear until I woke up. I looked it up and found the following:

“To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals. If you are driving on a curvy road, then it indicates that you are have difficulties in achieving your goals and the changes associated with it.”

I haven’t had that dream in a long time. Actually, I stopped having that dream when I got to this job in 2006. 2006, as far as I can remember, was a great year for me. At the time, I felt like I was finally starting to truly figure out what I wanted to do with this life of mine. Write…take pictures - basically I learned what it took to feel and be happy. Since then – as all lives tend to become and I am certainly no exception – happiness seemed to require more work than before and I simply lost track of the whos, whats, whys and hows of my "effortless" lifestyle.

A few weeks ago I had a terrible dream. I was driving home from work and a pick-up truck filled with gun-weilding men were speeding about 2 cars and 2 lanes before me. When I realized (in the dream) that a bullet was headed my way, I slammed on the gas but before I knew it, a darkness had pulled me and I was standing on the balcony of my church, watching my friends and family below mourning over a casket that I knew was mine. I have NEVER dreamt of my own death. When I woke, I couldn't believe how relieved I was.

I looked it up all the facets of my nightmare and found the following:

"To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life."

"To see a gun in your dream, symbolizes aggression, anger, and potential danger. You may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence."

"To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun, suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You may feel victimized in some situation."

"To dream of your own funeral, symbolizes an ending to a situation or aspect of yourself. You may be repressing some of your feelings or parts of yourself and the dream may be a signal for you to recognize and acknowledge those feelings. Instead of confronting a situation, you are dealing with it by burying it and trying to forget about it.”

"To dream that you are in a church, suggests that you are seeking for some spiritual enlightenment and guidance. You are looking to be uplifted in some way. Perhaps you have made some mistakes in the past which have set you back on your path toward your goals. With proper support, you will get on the right track again. Alternatively, it may also mean that you are questioning and debating your life path and where it is leading. You are reevaluating what you want to do.”

(All from Dream Moods http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/)

Geez...intense…