Monday, September 02, 2013

reassess [ree-uh-ses]

to estimate or judge the value, character, etc., of; evaluate 
Synonyms include: reevaluate, reexamine, rework, revise

Last night, I had a dream that I was on vacation somewhere in Italy. There were no recognizable monuments for me to determine exactly where I was, but the Mediterranean was in full view as I rode  a bicycle down a strada so I guess I was somewhere near the coast. It was just past dawn when I left, so the streets were still quiet. On my way back from wherever I rode, I passed by the train station and sat at a nearby cafe to rest, watching passengers hop on and hop off the platform. As I waited there, I ran into an old high school friend.

As I usually do when I have vivid dreams, I looked up the meanings of the most prominent objects: Bicycle 
To dream that you are riding a bicycle signifies your desires to attain a balance in your life. You need to balance work and pleasure in order to succeed in your current undertakings. If you have difficulties riding the bicycle, then it suggests that you are experiencing anxieties about making it on your own. To see a bicycle in your dream indicates that you need to devote time to leisurely pursuits and recreation. Train 
To see a train in your dream represents conformity. You are just going along with what everyone else is doing. Alternatively, a train means that you are very methodical. You need to lay things out specifically and do things in an orderly and sequential manner. If you see a passenger train, then it relates to mental work. 
To dream that you are at a station represents a transitional period in your life. You need to take a short break to reassess your situation and determine your path and goals. 
To dream that you are on vacation indicates that you need a break to recharge your energies and revitalize yourself. You need to break out of your daily routine and do something different. Alternatively, dreaming of a vacation represents your achievements. You are giving yourself a pat on the back and are deserving of a reward for your hard work.
To see friends from your past in your dream points to your desire to reconnect with a part of yourself that you have lost touch with. Perhaps it is time to pick up that old hobby or put a long hidden talent to use. 

I've always believed in the communication of our dreams. They're not just abstract manifestations of our (unfulfilled) hopes and desires. They're also, often times, beacons - shining their lighthouse-caliber glow, trying to catch our attention. 

"Hey! You there! Remember when you used to write for fun? Remember when you used to write about those, what are they called? Oh yeah...FEELINGS? Remember when you had plans to attend grad school? Remember when you had the energy to do everything?" 

As of this sentence that I'm typing out right now, it is 3:05 am. I went to bed around midnight and, since I couldn't sleep, watched a small indie film called, Like Crazy. For whatever reason, I had the sudden desire to write, so here I am, blogging for the first time since this year began and I feel really badly about it because...

...I miss this. I miss just writing...about anything and everything. I miss writing about what I did over the weekend, instead how many shots Kobe attempted, how many free throws Dwight Howard missed and how bad the Laker defense was (it was really bad). I miss writing really awful poetry, because as corny as all of it was, it was still an outlet. For a long time now, I've settled for outlets that required less work, like eating out with friends, shopping, reading the hottest new series (I've read most of them - Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, Hunger Games, 50 Shades of Grey, etc.) or just working more.

I love photography. I love how much I've learned and how much I've helped people relive really great times in their lives, and I don't regret riding that wave when the opportunity came. But I know my writing was a casualty, because I was just serving too many masters. 

It's a good thing it's Labor Day Weekend. Otherwise I don't know if I could wake up two hours from now and get ready for work. I hope I have more bouts like this though. I hope they come more everyday.


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