Thursday, December 31, 2009

contemplate [kon-tuhm-pleyt]
to look at or view with continued attention; observe or study thoughtfully; to consider thoroughly; think fully or deeply about
Synonyms include: consider, deliberate, ruminate

"The closer one gets to realizing his Personal Legend,
the more that Personal Legend becomes his true reason for
being."
~ The Alchemist, Paul Coelho

A couple of weeks ago, after I had arranged (and re-arranged) the boxes and gift bags under our Christmas tree, I stood back to make sure that that corner of the living room was neat and that no gifts were in the way.

"Hmmm," I said to my dad, "why does it look like we bought more gifts this year than last year?"

"I know, huh? Even during the recession? That's good." Dad said.

He walked away and still I stood there. Thank you, God.

My dad's company closed the week before Christmas and the place where he had worked for almost 30 years is now merely a shell of a building bereft of it's loyal tenants. It's loyal tenants are all now without jobs, including my father, who is probably the hardest working man I know. It tore me up when he told me. The first thing I could think of was how much of Dad's life he had dedicated to that place and how, in the last year or so, he had seen foreshadowings of this company's demise. In all that time, though, I never thought it would actually close.

Those gifts under our tree, though, and my dad's reaction, somehow gave me some comfort in the midst of all the worry. My parents have never hidden their worries from me and my sister and now, above all, their concern for how finances (or lack thereof) could affect our household are as obvious as they can be. But the one thing my parents have also never kept hidden is their unfailing faith that God would provide.

That's what I seem to learn each year, in so many different ways, and 2009 was no exception. I try, each time I'm challenged with a confusing or unfavourable situation, to remember a quote from my favorite movie. "When the Lord closes a door, some way He opens a window." I shove those words down my throat every time I feel myself wanting to cry that life dealt me another unfair hand. In the wake of every difficult moment, though, is another that forces you to move on.

Move on to the next project, the next venture, the next opportunity that soul searches are made of. 2009 was full of opportunities, and those I took advantage of, I can say heartily, have given me courage to seek the next. I'm reminded everyday that life is a work in progress. A year ago, I probably wouldn't be okay with admitting that, control freak that I am. But somehow, accepting that my purpose is on a rolling deadline is, well, a relief.

I'm thankful for every moment that I've shared with everyone who I have been fortunate to have in my world (physically or via Facebook and Twitter). I hope 2009 was a good year for all of you reading this, and if it wasn't, I pray that 2010 will bring you new beginnings.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

1 comment:

Tam said...

Happy New Year Anna! What a heartfelt post...