The science of the composition, structure, properties, and reactions of matter; a strong mutual attraction, attachment
Synonyms include: allure, allurement, appeal, attractiveness, bait, captivation, charm
There are four kinds of chemistry
Physical chemistry creates desire
Emotional chemistry creates affection
Mental chemistry creates interest
Spiritual chemistry creates love
A soul mate has all four.
– Mishelle Bradford-Jones
What causes “chemical reactions?” Which elements, when combined, will create bonds and which others will refuse to blend into a homogenous concoction? What will act as a catalyst for precipitation, and what will cause evaporation? Before I run out of the few chemical engineering terms I remember, I say this: Human beings are like the elements on the periodic table. Each of us is composed differently; we contain personal properties that have certain similarities as well as differences, and we have a sometimes inexplicable affinity to specific qualities in others. It’s the mystery of attraction we often experience, but most times are unable to validate with explanation.
What “reels you in?” Is it a look that that you get from someone’s eyes across the proverbial crowded room? Is it something commonplace, but significant, like intelligence, personality or a sense of humor that you seek? Or is there a certain quirkiness that catches your attention? (i.e. a gentle, lingering blink of her eyes, a pair of glasses upon his face, an endearing imperfection in her smile, a mischievous look about him, etc). Everyone’s got their own lists, whether you’d like to admit it or not. But, lest we be accused of being “too picky,” no list is permanently engraved on any plate of gold for complete adherence. Besides, that list could be a mile long, and we can search all we want. We may even find ourselves checking off the items on that makeshift manifest, but there are just some factors in attainment that you can’t itemize, like chemistry; that undeniable gravitation to and reaction between two people. We often refer to this occurrence as “clicking,” like two puzzle pieces among a mound of thousands, forming a perfect fit.
Whether you believe in opposites attracting, or like attracting like, it basically boils down to this chemistry thing. Every relationship - romantic, platonic, professional, familial, etc. - works because the formula for that bond has just the right "mix" of, well, whatever it takes to make it work. There's also the other side of that concept - the combustible kind; an improper mix of personalities that clash more than they blend.
I've learned that, no matter how much I think I know or how much practice I think I've had in my relationships, there's no one perfect formula for everyone. Like there is no rule book for life, there is also no potions manual for building bonds with people. Sometimes it's better to just let nature and science take its course.